Kathy

Now Your Journey Begins

 in Engagement / Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged engagement / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / wedding vendors by

Now your journey begins. Congratulations! If you became engaged during the 2020 holiday season, the journey to your wedding day is just beginning. No doubt, one of the most frequently asked questions you’ve received as you shared your happy news is, “Have you set a date yet?” Setting your wedding date is indeed one of the first things you’ll want to do, but it hinges primarily on your venue’s availability.

Pretty autumn venue

Once you’ve located a venue that you really like, availability of that space will largely define your choice of wedding dates. With date and venue known, it’s time to start locking in other vendors. If you have certain vendors you want to work with, you’ll want to speak with them early in your planning process. Be aware, too, that there are more photographers and DJs, for example, than celebrants and string quartets around. So prioritize speaking with in demand vendors or those with limited supply.

The complexity of wedding planning can be overwhelming, so finding wedding planner software or a physical planning binder can be helpful. Be aware, though, that the timeframe guidelines listed in these tools may not be accurate for our region. The sooner you can lock down the services and people you want to support you on your wedding day the better.

Sweet ceremony moments
Ring Exchange

Your journey begins with reaching out to many people you do not know, to secure services you may not be familiar with. This can be intimidating until you realize that the people you’ll engage with are each expert in their fields. Feel free to contact them and ask them to guide you through what you need to know. We understand that many couples are planning weddings for the first time, and don’t really know where to start. An initial email or phone call will get the ball rolling. Once you have your wedding date and venue, you have the key information most vendors will need to have before they can tell you if they are available to consider working with you.

If you’re newly engaged enjoy the moment! Take a bit of time to share your happy news with family and friends. Now your journey begins as you jump into wedding planning. Throughout the process remember the reason you’re doing it – you’ve found the love of your life and want to move forward in marriage. With that as the guiding force behind all your plans you’re sure to have a wonderful wedding day that you’ll remember forever. Again, congratulations, and I hope to hear from you when you’re ready to plan to ceremony.

Note: Due to COVID-19, Kathy is booking custom ceremonies only for dates after June 30, 2021. She is available for simple certificate signings until then.

Out With the Old and In With the New

 in Celebration / Ceremony / COVID-19 / Weddings  tagged certificate signing / COVID-19 / wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Out with the old and in with the new is a sentiment often spoken as we approach the end of the year. Never was it more true than as we close out 2020 and look to the new year with hope. 2020 has been the strangest, most stressful year most of us have ever experienced. It seems years ago that we started the year with normal hopes and expectations for the beginning of a new decade. Then COVID arrived and everything changed.

Many couples with plans to marry in 2020 were left scrambling. They variously decided to hold their dates and modified guest lists, venues and more, or postponed to later in the year or to 2021. Some couples actually planned their wedding three times as postponements to later in 2020 needed to be moved into the next year as the pandemic raged on. Some lucky couples with summer wedding dates managed to hold their days mostly as planned, but even then masks, hand sanitizer and social distancing impacted the vision they had for their wedding day.

Throughout the year many couples chose a brief Marriage Certificate Signing option. This no ceremony option meets the legal requirements of marriage, but happens with just the couple and their required witnesses. We gather briefly, masked and distanced, and say the words necessary to join them in legal marriage. Couples chose this option for many reasons, but most of them were tied to the pandemic. In some cases, they wanted to hold their original wedding date, but plan to hold a celebration later. Other couples opted for a Certificate Signing due to job losses and the need to be eligible for their partner’s medical insurance. Still others worked in medical fields or simply feared the virus and wanted to have spousal privileges should they or their partner become ill.

All of these reasons reflect the state of our world today as our lives continue to be defined, or at least significantly impacted, by COVID-19. But as the year comes to a close, the phrase, “Out with the old and in with the new” takes on more meaning than usual. With vaccines beginning to be available we can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Newly engaged couples can begin planning the late 2021 or 2022 wedding they want with fewer concerns for the virus. Those who married this year in small to non-existent ceremonies can consider the outlines of a future celebration. Love always finds a way, as the many couples who found a way to marry this year can attest. Congratulations and best wishes to all the couples I married this year. May you share your stories of 2020 with generations to come, and remember the strange and unique year you began your marriage journey.

Ceremonies to Remember: Involving Others

 in Blended family / Ceremony / Personalization / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged blended family / memorable wedding / personalized wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Involving Others in novel ways in your ceremony shows your love and respect for them. This post is the third in the Ceremonies to Remember series where I reflect on some of the special moments I’ve experienced and some of the creative parts of the more than 400 ceremonies I’ve conducted over the last 10+ years. The previous posts focused on ceremonies I’ve done for family members and unique processionals.

Traditional ways of involving others in your ceremony include as bridesmaids and groomsmen, as ushers and flower girls. But some of the couples I married found unique ways to include those important to them. In one case the groom had a daughter who was about 10 years old. They wanted to include her in the ceremony to honor the new family they were becoming. A handfasting had been chosen as their unity ritual, and they chose to have his daughter actual wrap and tie the ribbon, signifying her support for their marriage. The cord was made extra long, so after the couple were connected, the daughter placed her hand on top of theirs. The cord was then wrapped and tied around the three hands, denoting the new family formed by the ceremony. It was a touching moment, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd.

Family Handfasting

A second couple chose to honor their parents in a way that also honored their heritage. Early in the wedding ceremony the parents stepped forward to present gifts of bread, wine, salt and a coin to the couple. Each had significance from their European heritage which was shared with the guests. The ritual also made clear the love and support the bride and groom were receiving from their new in-laws as they were welcomed to the family.

Parents gifts

The final example of involving others in a ceremony in a special way honored the bride’s Indian heritage. After the exchange of vows and rings in the western tradition, her grandfather presided over the Seven Steps ritual. This ritual marks the commitment the couple makes to each other as they take their first steps as a married couple. To make this moment even more special, he had performed the same ritual with his daughter (the bride’s mother) when she married nearly 30 years ago.

These three examples show how some thought, creativity and sensitivity when involving others in your wedding ceremony ensure that it will be significant and memorable for everyone. When you choose to have a ceremony written just for you there are nearly endless ways of involving others who are important to you.

Ceremonies to Remember: Unique Wedding Processionals

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Trends / Wedding processional  tagged custom ceremony / custom wedding ceremony / processional / wedding ceremony / wedding processional by


Unique wedding processionals offer the opportunity to be true to yourself, to your relationship as a couple, and to the relationships within your family. This post is the second in the Ceremonies to Remember series where I reflect on some of the special moments I’ve experienced and some of the creative parts of the more than 400 ceremonies I’ve conducted over the last 10+ years. The last post, on ceremonies for family members, can be found here .

Traditional wedding processionals have the bride being escorted into the ceremony space by one or both parents. If you have close relationships with your parent(s), this can be a lovely tradition to include in your ceremony. But more and more couples are choosing a different entrance for their wedding, for a variety of reasons.

One of the most unique wedding processionals I’ve seen was the bride who wanted to be escorted by her brother and sister-in-law and their two young daughters. Her parents had died years ago, and her brother and his family were truly her family. She spent lots of time with them, had a special bond with her nieces, and was very close to her brother and his wife. It made perfect sense for this group to escort her to her groom.

Speaking of children, I’ve seen many children of all ages and genders escort their moms into the ceremony space. This demonstrates a special level of support for the new marriage, and trust in the groom as a new, blended family is formed.

Recently I’ve been having more brides who want to enter without an escort. This occurs and makes sense for a number of reasons. In some cases the bride is established professionally and personally and doesn’t like the appearance of being “given away” by her parents. Other times the bride doesn’t currently or possibly has never had a relationship with her father and wishes to be authentic and enter alone. Sadly, sometimes the bride’s father has died and she doesn’t wish to have anyone “stand in” for him, and so chooses to honor him by entering alone.

A lovely option I’ve seen couples choose is to enter together. Some view this as authentic if they’ve been together a long time. Others use it as a statement of love and commitment. This option can also be chosen if the bride’s dad isn’t available for whatever reason to escort his daughter.

Two final thoughts: First, grooms traditionally just appear at the front of the ceremony space. Most often these days, the groom escorts his parents to their seats and then joins the celebrant in front. But children can escort their dad or he may choose to enter on his own, too. Second, same sex weddings have thrown lots of wedding traditions out the window. Couples choose all aspects of the ceremony including unique wedding processionals to match their personalities and reflect their relationship. How perfect.

Ceremonies to Remember: Family

 in Ceremony / Officiant / Personalization / Readings / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged celebrant / personal ceremony / personalized vows / personalized wedding by

Ceremonies to Remember is a series of blog posts to run from now to the end of 2020. In each post I’ll reflect on some of the special moments I’ve experienced and some of the creative parts of the more than 400 ceremonies I’ve conducted over the last 10+ years. This week the ceremonies to remember are ones I’ve been privileged to offer for family members.

The first family wedding ceremony I wrote and offered was for my son and daughter-in-law, back in 2013. It was interesting to step back and interact with them as I do with all client couples. I learned so much about each of them, and about their relationship through the process. They were one of the first couples I worked with who chose the Love Letters and Wine Box ceremony as their unity ritual, and it fit them perfectly. They wrote couple’s vows which were offered as a dialogue during the ceremony, and selected an ee cummings reading that was a favorite. One of the most unique elements of their wedding was the setting they chose – our local civic theatre – which was also the site of their first date. The ceremony was a special moment in their wonderful day, and my daughter-in-law still says they “win at weddings”. I hope all couples feel that way about their wedding day!

Love Letters and Wine Box Unity Ritual

The second family wedding I was asked to officiate was for my niece and her nephew-in-law. They chose a December date, and were fortunate to have a clear, if cold, day in Wisconsin that allowed all their invited guests to attend. Surrounded by family and friends, they included their families in the ceremony in multiple ways. Both sisters stood with them as bridesmaids. His father offered the reading. The mothers and sisters performed the handfasting unity ritual, sharing wishes for the couple’s marriage. As with my son’s wedding, the role of officiant provided the opportunity to learn more about my future nephew-in-law, and to see them interact as a couple.

Family Handfasting. Photo credit: Van Dreel Photography.

These family weddings were indeed ceremonies to remember. I was honored to be asked by both couples to serve as their celebrant. To legally join them in marriage and to create personal ceremonies that reflect their unique relationships was memorable. Those ceremonies stand out as highlights of my career as a Humanist Celebrant to date, and I’ll share more special moments in my coming blogs.