Honoring deceased parents at weddings deserves thought and consideration. Do you want to mention them during the ceremony? Is a ritual the right answer for you? Or perhaps you want a memento placed on the chair they would occupy, without anything being said at all? Maybe pictures of parents who have passed, along with an “in memory” plaque is the way you want to honor them at your wedding. There are many possibilities, and if you are in this situation you’ll want to select one that feels authentic for you.
Weddings are happy events, and bringing up parents who have passed can be a bit tricky to do. How recent the loved ones’ passing is will also impact what you choose. If the loss is fresh, it might be best to avoid talking about it during the ceremony, to avoid feeling overwhelmed by sadness. Think about your remaining parent, too, and be sensitive to how they will feel about whatever you decide to do.
Over the years I’ve had couples choose very simple statements, similar to, “John and Steven are so happy to share this day with all of you, and carry in their hearts those not able to be with us today.” That, along with a picture placed on a chair or table may be just the right touch for you.
Both fathers of a recent couple had died years ago, and they wanted to have me speak to the impact these important men had on them as individuals growing up. They also lit a candle in their dads’ memory near the beginning of the ceremony. This was the right answer for them, but I did notice that both of their moms were very emotional following this moment.
Honoring deceased parents at weddings is a very personal choice. You’ll want to discuss it as a couple and with your celebrant to decide how best to remember these important people on your happy day.