Yearly Archives: 2021

Rehearsals Reduce Stress

 in Ceremony / Wedding Party / Wedding processional / Wedding Rehearsal / Weddings  tagged stess reduction / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding party / wedding rehearsal by

Rehearsals reduce stress for the couple being married, their attendants and parents, and anyone else who has a role in the wedding ceremony. While I often tell people that wedding ceremonies are not rocket science, a rehearsal will help ensure that everyone looks their best and is comfortable with the experience.

I include a rehearsal in the pricing for my celebrant services for weddings because I think they are an important part of ceremony preparation. At rehearsal I meet with the couple, their attendants (bridesmaids and groomsmen), parents, and any other people who have a role in the ceremony. This includes flower girls, ring bearers, readers, and friends or family who will be running the music for the ceremony.

Rehearsals reduce stress by allowing people in the processional to practice where they are going to walk and stand. They allow readers or musicians to practice in the ceremony space. The wedding party sees who they are following up the aisle, and we discuss what cues will tell them when to walk. Once in front, everyone can find their place and know where to stand for the ceremony.

Beyond basic movement, we chat about how the men are to offer their arm to the women, and where the women are to place their hand on the offered arm. Our world is so casual these days, that this small bit of etiquette is often totally unknown to the wedding participants. We also discuss how the women should hold their flowers and remind the men to keep their hands out of their pockets. These small things can result in a more elegant appearance and much better pictures, too.

Rehearsals are often followed with a dinner or social gathering. This also reduces stress as members of the wedding party who haven’t met before can get to know each other and be more comfortable with each other at the ceremony. The wedding day is full of hustle and bustle and many guests, so a rehearsal dinner is a great opportunity to celebrate privately with those special people who are part of your wedding party, too.

Shh! It’s Noisy Out Here

 in Ceremony / Venue / Weddings  tagged minimizing noise / noisy weddings / wedding venues by

Shh! It’s noisy out here. Not what you want guests saying to each other as they try to hear the words of your wedding ceremony. But it can be an all too common experience at outdoor weddings. There are some things you can do to both avoid and to minimize the effect of external noises at your ceremony venue. They take attention to detail and some planning, though, to ensure that you get the idyllic experience you envision.

Noises can be natural or man-made. For example, if you’re standing in the beautiful lower gardens at the Plummer House, you might be fooled into thinking it’s a serene and quiet place. But if you close your eyes and listen, you’ll hear plenty of road noise from Hwy 52. If it’s a breezy day the sound of wind in the trees can be quite loud. And if the waterfall and/or fountains are turned on, it’s even louder. None of these can be controlled, so you’ll want to ensure that you have a sound system so speakers during your ceremony can be heard.

Plummer House Lower Gardens, with the pretty, if noisy, fountain

I once had the interesting experience of discovering, mid-ceremony, that there were train tracks immediately adjacent to the ceremony space at The Round Barn near Winona. There is no way to compete with the sound of a rumbling, whistling train only 20 yards away. In these kind of situations, knowing it’s possible that a train will be sharing your ceremony is all you can do. We stopped, waved to the train, and waited for it to pass before continuing.

With indoor ceremony venues, make sure to inquire about the location of the kitchen, the pool or other activity venues, and any major hallways or lobbies that could get loud. Enlist the site manager’s assistance in limiting noise during the ceremony when possible.

It’s important when visiting potential venues to stop, close your eyes and listen to see if noise is going to be an issue. You’ll also want to ask the site manager about any currently unheard noise that could be a factor on the day of the week and time of day that your wedding will occur. Even with all of your efforts, the unexpected may happen, as the bride in this article discovered when she learned of an impending cicada hatching.

To prevent your guests from saying, “Shh! It’s noisy out here”, you’ll want to prevent, minimize, account for, or acknowledge and respond to noises you can predict. But when the unexpected happens, it’s best to just smile, wave, and remember that the most important thing happening is your love and marriage, and all the rest can become background noise.

The Value of Ushers

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony guests / ushers / wedding ceremony by

The value of ushers at your wedding cannot be overstated. You can choose to include them as an official part of your wedding party or they can take a less formal role as greeters or hosts. The benefit of having ushers is hard to overstate. Here are ten ways ushers can help provide an outstanding ceremony experience:

  1. Ushers can greet guests as they arrive, directing them to parking, restrooms and the ceremony space.
  2. Ushers can make sure that programs, water, lap blankets or any other items you’ve planned for your guests’ comfort are in place and handled correctly.
  3. Guests can be difficult to corral for the beginning of the ceremony. Ushers can move guests to the seats for an on time ceremony start.
  4. They can ensure that grandparents and others you’ve reserved seats for find their spot.
  5. Outdoor venues with grass can offer a trip hazard. Offering an arm to escort any guests who are unstable on their feet is a service ushers routinely provide.
  6. Even if you opt for an informal ceremony and want your guests to choose their own seats, ushers can help let guests know that, along with which rows are reserved.
  7. Ushers serve as an escort for parents or grandparents in the processional if other arrangements have not been made.
  8. Once the processional begins, ushers can hold back any late arriving guests. Once the ceremony begins, they can help them discretely find seats.
  9. Ushers can assist any guests who need to leave the ceremony space before the ceremony ends. Perhaps a parent with an unruly child needs to be directed to a quiet space. Or a guest urgently needs a restroom or shade.
  10. And finally, ushers can release guests from their seats following the ceremony, and direct them to the appropriate location for after ceremony festivities.
The value of ushers at wedding ceremonies

While ushers have historically been male friends or relatives of the groom, you don’t have to follow that tradition. It can be helpful to have ushers who know both sides of the family to identify grandparents and others who should be seated in the reserved section. These days ushers can be women, men or a couple of any gender. Select people who understand the value of ushers and they’ll be appreciated by you and your guests. Great ushers can relieve stress and add a classy touch to the beginning of your wedding day.

Fully vaccinated – Resuming All Celebrant Services

 in Ceremony / COVID-19 / Memorial services / Uncategorized / Weddings / Welcoming Ceremony  tagged ceremony services / COVID-19 / custom ceremony / memorial services / wedding ceremonies / welcoming ceremonies by

Fully vaccinated – two of the most encouraging and freeing words in the world these days. I completed the COVID-19 vaccination series on April 1st, and am considered fully vaccinated as of the day this blog posts. Therefore, I am resuming all celebrant services.

Being fully vaccinated allows me to move more freely in the world. As more Minnesotans get vaccinated, it will be safer for all of us. I’m encouraged by the rate of vaccinations happening in the Rochester area and throughout the state. The governor has eased restrictions on gatherings, and my phone and email are busy again.

Custom Weddings

Clients are planning ceremonies for later this year and for next year, and I’m happy to book a full range of ceremony services for August 2021 and later. So if you’re looking for a simple Certificate Signing or Vow Exchange in Rochester I can help. If you want a custom ceremony in Rochester or throughout southeastern Minnesota, please take a look through this website, and contact me. I’d love to learn more about what you want in your wedding ceremony, a welcoming ceremony for your new baby, or a special memorial service to honor a loved one. I can offer options and suggestions based on the more than 400 ceremonies I’ve officiated over the past 11 years.

Custom memorial services

I’m still offering no cost, no obligation initial consultations via video at this time. Until more of the population is able to access vaccines and become fully vaccinated that’s the safest way for us to connect. As the weather warms we can arrange to meet in person outside, too.

Family puzzle for Child Welcoming ceremony.

As ceremony planning starts to pick up, and we look forward to gathering with loved ones to celebrate the important moments in life, please know that I am here to support you, to work with you to craft the ceremony you want, and to authentically celebrate your milestone moment!

Moving Beyond the Big Three – Create Meaningful Ceremony

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Personalization / Trends  tagged coming of age ceremony / divorce ceremony / milestone birthday ceremony / retirement ceremony / transition ceremony by

Moving beyond the big three allows you to consider other moments in life that might benefit from meaningful ceremony. In recent weeks I’ve written about the big three: weddings, naming ceremonies, and memorial services. Now it’s time to discuss some lesser considered milestones that are enhanced when you honor them with a ceremony component.

Milestone birthdays: A new decade or coming of age are great opportunities to celebrate with ceremony. Mark an 80th or 90th birthday (or any other you choose to celebrate) with a tribute ceremony. Family members and friends can recall special times shared with the honoree or share how they have influenced the speaker’s life. Mementos of the honoree’s life can be displayed, and their accomplishments can be shared. You’ll definitely want to give the honoree a chance to address the group, too, and share both wisdom and gratitude for those who have gathered. A 16th or 21st birthday can recognize the transition from child to adult.

Professional transitions: Perhaps someone obtained a significant promotion, opened a new business, or is transitioning to retirement. These professional milestones can be recognized with a look back at the accomplishments or contributions, and a look forward to the opportunities that lie ahead.

Divorce: Of course, it doesn’t inspire the happiness of the wedding day, but you can’t deny that experiencing divorce is a major life event. As such, ceremony can help you on this journey. Depending on your individual circumstances and preferences you can hold a divorce ceremony shortly after you decide to divorce, with your spouse participating. The objective here is to focus on your intent to walk this path with integrity, maturity, and respect for each other. You might hold a divorce ceremony with your children (especially if under 18), where you each voice your undiminished love for them, and your commitment to keep their needs front and center as you create a new definition of family.
Lastly, as you reach the end of the divorce process, you may benefit from a ceremony where you embrace your new identity, set new goals for your new situation, and receive support from loved ones.

Guest lists for each of these types of ceremonies are smaller than for a wedding or memorial. Sometimes it may be a very small group of immediate family, or supportive friends. The key with all of the ceremonies is to craft the content, setting, guest list and surrounding activities to meet the wishes and needs of the honorees. Moving beyond the big three when considering the role ceremony can play as you move through life can provide wonderful memories and bring you close together with the important people in your life.