Yearly Archives: 2021

Defining Your Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Wedding Ceremony  tagged ceremony / ceremony definition / personal ceremony / wedding ceremony by

Defining your wedding ceremony is an opportunity to personalize your wedding day. Minnesota marriage requirements are minimal – basically you have to say you want to be married to each other – so there’s lots of opportunity to make the ceremony your own. An experienced celebrant can help guide you through the process, but your wishes should be paramount.

A good way to begin the process of defining your wedding ceremony is to consider what you’ve seen at other weddings you’ve attended. Were there certain moments you found particularly touching or meaningful? Alternately, were there moments you felt you’d seen at every other wedding or didn’t care for? Share these thoughts with your celebrant as a great starting point for defining your own ceremony.

Next, think about what ceremony elements are important to you. Perhaps you have a poem, reading or song that is significant to you as a couple. Those are perfect elements to include in your ceremony. Maybe you definitely want (or don’t want) to write your own vows. Make sure that your officiant knows about this and is on board.

Writing your own vows is a great way to personalize your wedding ceremony

Another consideration should be any people you want to have a role in your ceremony. Beyond being a bridesmaid or groomsman there are a number of possibilities here. Maybe you want to ask them to be greeters to welcome your guests, or perhaps you want them to offer a reading during the ceremony. If you have family or friends who have artistic talent, perhaps you can ask them to create the backdrop for your ceremony.

And finally, you’ll want to decide if you want your ceremony personalized by including anecdotes or stories from your time together. This is the best way to put your personal stamp on your ceremony, but it’s OK to leave it out if you’re shy, very private or want a very short ceremony. Just realize that in making that choice you’re losing the element of the ceremony that is uniquely yours.

Defining your wedding ceremony involves some thought and decision making, but will result in a ceremony that fits you, that reflects your priorities, and that will be meaningful and memorable. A perfect way to begin your wedding celebration.

Ceremony Music – Strike a Pleasing Chord

 in Music / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding Rehearsal / Weddings  tagged ceremony music / music professionals / recorded ceremony music / wedding music by

Ceremony music can strike a pleasing chord and enhance your wedding ceremony, if done well. However, it can often be the weak link in ceremony planning and result in a noticeably discordant note in an otherwise beautiful ceremony. If you hire live musicians with experience performing for wedding ceremonies, or if you hire a professional DJ, you can be confident that the music you select will be a lovely accompaniment to your ceremony.

As you’re planning your ceremony you might encounter a cost cutting suggestion of using recorded music played from a personal device. This can be a good suggestion if carefully implemented, but too often leads to disappointing results. With all the technology available at our fingertips today it seems like having a friend or family member run your music from a phone would be a simple and inexpensive option. But a number of pitfalls await this decision.

  1. Having someone run the ceremony music from your phone can result in them not knowing where the music is located, or what order to play the songs in. Worst of all, the device can lock during the ceremony with no way for the person to unlock it for the recessional at the end of the ceremony.
  2. You’ll need to have your device connected to speakers, and not any speaker will do. You need to be able to have the music played loud enough that the wedding party can hear it and know when to enter and leave the ceremony space.
  3. The person running the music needs to know how to fade out a song, cycle it to play again, and switch songs quickly to support a processional with multiple music selections.
  4. If you’re going to rely on any sound system components from your ceremony venue you need to take the music device there in the weeks preceding the ceremony to ensure that the proper cables and speakers are available. This can help avoid a situation where it’s time to begin the ceremony and no music is available.
  5. Finally, you will want to have the person running your music attend your rehearsal so they can practice the processional and recessional in your ceremony space. This will give you a final chance to correct any problems with your music plan.

The best way to ensure that your ceremony music strikes a pleasing cord is to rely on professionals for either live or recorded music. If you make another choice, invest the time and attention to detail to maximize the chances of success.

Customizing A Simple Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Wedding Ceremony  tagged personalized ceremony / simple ceremony / simple wedding / Vow exchange by

Customizing a simple ceremony takes only a little thought and time. Even if you opt for an elopement style ceremony – I call it a Vow Exchange ceremony – you can leave your personal mark on it. From venue to vows, from music to rituals, your short and sweet ceremony can still be uniquely yours.

When you’re working with me and choose a Vow Exchange Ceremony you still get to choose from sample vows that I offer. And of course, a great way to personalize your ceremony is to write your own vows. The promises you make to each other are always going to be unique to you, because your relationship and your personalities are unique. However, if you’re shy, vows can be adapted to allow for a simple, “I do,” response to keep you relaxed and comfortable.

Choosing music to be played as you enter and/or leave the ceremony space is totally optional for these simple ceremonies, but is another way to make the ceremony reflect your personalities. Just make sure you’ve identified the person who will play the music and provided the necessary equipment so the music can be heard by your guests.

Vow Exchange ceremonies don’t usually include a unity ritual following the vows, but one can be added if you wish. Selecting or creating a meaningful unity ritual will certainly make the ceremony memorable for you and your guests.

An additional option for customizing a simple ceremony is by choosing a venue that reflects you as a couple. I recently did two Vow Exchange ceremonies on two consecutive days, and they were very different. One took place at an historic park, included white chairs for the 15 guests, and began with a somewhat elaborate processional. The second ceremony took place on the family farm with three generations of family gathered to celebrate. Guests sat on hay bales covered with hand made quilts. The couple chose a seed planting as their unity ritual, so appropriate for the farm setting.

Vow Exchange Ceremony in historic park
Vow Exchange ceremony on the farm

Both ceremonies were authentically perfect for the couples being married and demonstrate how customizing a simple ceremony can make it memorable for everyone from the couple to the attendants to the guests who come to celebrate. Just remember that wedding ceremonies don’t have to be elaborate, lengthy, or complex to reflect you as a couple.

Choose Your Own Wedding Ceremony Style

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged certificate signing / Full custom ceremony / personal ceremony / Vow exchange / wedding ceremony by

Choose your own wedding ceremony style to ensure that your big day reflects you as a couple. The ceremony starts the wedding day celebration and should be all you want it to be, and only what you want it to be. As our area continues to recover from the COVID-19 pandemic all kinds of wedding ceremonies are once again available, allowing you to choose the style that fits you best.

Full Custom ceremonies are coming back in large numbers. Now that you can gather again with family and friends many couples are busy planning ceremonies that share their story and include readings, unity rituals and all the extras. I’m working hard to accommodate couples who want big ceremonies but are working on tight schedules. Remember to select your officiant at least six months in advance if you want this kind of personalized ceremony.

When you choose your own wedding ceremony style the term “short and sweet” may come to mind. It’s helpful to define this a little more when speaking with potential celebrants. Do you want a personalized ceremony, or prefer not to share a lot of your story? If you’re looking for a 5-10 minute ceremony without a lot of personalization, a Vow Exchange or elopement style ceremony may be the perfect fit. This style allows you to write your own vows or select from a few vow options in the repeat-after-me format. There’s space for a ring exchange if you want one, and even for a reading. This style can be perfect for a shy or more private couple who don’t enjoy being the center of attention. A Vow Exchange also works well for a more casual celebration or for second or subsequent marriages.

The final ceremony style I offer is the Certificate Signing. I sometimes refer to this as a “no ceremony” option because it focuses on meeting the legal requirements for marriage in Minnesota and not much more. You respond to a simple question regarding your intention to join in marriage, I extend good wishes for your marriage, make a pronouncement and invite you to kiss. Legal paperwork is signed and the entire process takes no more than 3 minutes.

I performed many Certificate Signings during the pandemic because that’s all we could do. But now you can choose your own wedding ceremony style again. So if you’re having a big celebration and want a personal ceremony experience, ask for the Full Custom ceremony. A Vow Exchange is perfect for smaller, informal gatherings or when you’re not interested in sharing your personal story. And a Certificate Signing will always be the choice for couples who, “just want to make it legal.” Every couple is unique and has their own style, so just pick the ceremony style that fits you best.

Bad Weather Backup Plans – A Wedding Essential

 in Ceremony / Guests / Wedding Ceremony / Wedding Party / Wedding planning  tagged bad weather venue / wedding / wedding backup plans / wedding ceremony by

Bad weather backup plans are essential for Minnesota weddings. The variability of our weather makes an indoor ceremony plan necessary for anyone planning an outdoor ceremony.

Most people think of rain as the weather problem requiring a move to an indoor ceremony space, but our current hot weather demonstrates that there are more weather conditions to consider. Extreme heat is uncomfortable for everyone, but can be deadly for senior citizens like grandparents, and for guests with underlying health conditions. And don’t forget about yourselves and your wedding party. Tuxedos and suits are not normal daily wear for many of the men in your wedding party, and long dresses made of synthetic fabrics can cause your women to melt in the heat. Hair and makeup is not going to be optimal following photo sessions before the ceremony. Who wants to look wilted on their wedding day?

Over the years I’ve encountered other weather conditions that wreak havoc with outdoor ceremonies, too. The Rochester area is known to often be breezy, but there are many days when winds top 25 miles per hour. If it is a temperate day this might not be a problem, but consider a 50 degree late September day when the wind has a definite bite to it. Not pleasant conditions for guests or the wedding party. And the same can be true of early spring ceremonies.

Given the variety of weather we experience here in Minnesota, well considered bad weather backup plans are needed to address this critical but uncontrollable element of your wedding day. Knowing that there is a viable indoor space available, ideally at the same venue as your outdoor ceremony space, will allow for a graceful shift in plans if the weather requires it.

No one wants to consider that weather will adversely impact their ceremony plans, but the reality is that it can and too often does. Having bad weather backup plans in your back pocket can save the day and keep the celebration on track.