Yearly Archives: 2020

Writing Personal Vows

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Wedding Vows / Weddings  tagged personal ceremony / personalized wedding / wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding vows / weddings by

Writing personal vows for your wedding ceremony is a great way to share your love, commitment, and personalities. There are multiple options to accomplish this so you’ll be able to find one that is comfortable for you.

Writing personal vows from scratch allows you total control and freedom, but can be a challenge if writing is not your forte. You can make the job easier by following a few simple suggestions:

  1. Limit your vows to eight to ten sentences. This keeps you focused on what you want to say. It leaves you enough space to share your promises and your love for your partner. But if you get emotional this length will not be overwhelming. You’ll have enough space to express yourself without getting too long winded and boring your guests.
  2. Focus on the promises you are making. Don’t allow yourself to get distracted with all the wonderful things you could say about your partner.
  3. Even if you’re keeping your vows secret from your partner until the wedding day, discuss your personal vows before you begin to write. While you don’t want to share the specific words you plan to use, you’ll want to talk about whether or not you want to include humor, for example, or if you prefer to keep your vows more romantic or serious.
  4. When you think you’ve finished writing personal vows, it’s time to read them aloud. This is how you will offer them at the ceremony, and the written word can read very differently than the spoken word is heard. You’ll hear tone and emotion more strongly when the vows are voiced. You’ll also discover repetitive words or concepts more easily when speaking your vows.

If writing personal vows from scratch doesn’t appeal to you, you can still have personal vows by modifying vows you find online (or samples from your celebrant) that appeal to you. Reading these vows to each other, rather than using the more traditional “repeat after me” format will make your vows more personal and potent, too.

And finally, if you’re more comfortable with the “repeat after me” format, you can each choose a vow that really captures the promises you want to make to each other. This is probably the easiest way to personalize your vows.

A recent article in a local magazine, “Rochester Area Wedding” entitled “How to Write Vows that Wow” (see page 26) gives more suggestions for writing personal vows, and provides some great samples and examples, too.

Consider investing some time in writing personal vows for your wedding ceremony – they really are the most important words that will be said during the entire day. Your vows, your promises, your commitments are what your wedding day is all about.

Initial Contact: Where to Begin With Your Celebrant

 in Celebrant / Officiant / Weddings  tagged selecting wedding celebrant / wedding / wedding celebrant / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant by

Initial contact with potential wedding celebrants can be challenging for you as a newly engaged couple. You’re searching for the person who will provide you with the ceremony you want for your wedding day. Once you’ve identified potential celebrants via referrals, internet searches or personal experience, it’s time to reach out for the first time.

It may be helpful to remember that celebrants are waiting to hear from you. They look forward to speaking with or engaging with couples looking for a celebrant. They are happy to walk you through the process.

So what do you say/write in an initial contact with a celebrant? It’s best to start by sharing your name, your wedding date and the name/location of your ceremony venue. With this information the celebrant will be able to tell you if they serve the area where your ceremony will be held, and if they are available for your date. If all those items check out, it’s time to move on to the next level of conversation.

At this point your goal is to determine if this celebrant matches your wishes for your ceremony. You’ll want to share anything you know you do or do not want in your ceremony. For example, perhaps you want to write your own vows, or have certain music you want to use. Or possibly you don’t want religion in your ceremony and don’t want to include a unity ritual. The celebrant’s reaction to all these wishes will help determine if they are a good match for you. It’s OK if you don’t have any particular wishes for your ceremony at this point. The celebrant may ask you a few questions during your initial contact that will help them determine if you’re likely a good match.

Before you book any celebrant, though, you’ll want to have an in person meeting where you can chat further. If you’re not geographically co-located, a Skype or Facetime meeting can be used, too. This follow-up meeting is important for two reasons. First, you’ll want to make sure that the celebrant is prepared to create and deliver the kind of ceremony you want for your wedding day. And second, you’ll want to ensure that you are comfortable with the celebrant. You’ll work closely with them and want to feel comfortable asking questions, making your wishes known, and expressing concerns should any arise.

You may feel apprehensive or uncertain when the time comes to reach out to potential celebrants. But you can rest assured that they want to make that initial contact as easy and positive as possible. You’ll generally find friendly, caring, and interested people on the other side of your initial contact. So pick up the phone or write an email to get the ball rolling. We’re waiting to hear from you.

Planning for 2020 Weddings

 in Ceremony / Engagement / Personalization / Venue / Wedding traditions / Wedding Vows / Weddings  tagged engaged / engagement / personalized wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / wedding traditions / weddings by

Planning for 2020 weddings, and beyond, has become a priority task for all the couples who are newly engaged following the recent holiday season. Congratulations again to all of you as you celebrate your engagements and begin the process of figuring out what will come next. No matter who you are, what you envision for your day, where you want it to be held, or who you will enlist to help you with the myriad tasks you will discover as you move forward, this is and will be an exciting time in your life.

The best advice I can offer as you begin planning for 2020 weddings (or any future date) is to decide what 3 to 5 things are really important to you. This will help you focus on where to spend your time, effort and money as you plan for the big day. That doesn’t mean you can ignore all the other aspects of your wedding day. But perhaps you will spend less of your wedding budget on those items, or will enlist the help of family or friends who have talents or experience in those areas.

As you begin your wedding planning process I encourage you to identify your wedding date as soon as possible. Venue availability or key vendor availability will help you select a date, and once you have the date and location there are many more tasks that you can work on.

Remember, too, that wedding traditions are based on hundreds of years of couples getting married. Some may not fit you, and it is more than OK to jettison those that don’t. Maybe you don’t want to be “given away” at your ceremony, call all the single women to the floor for a bouquet toss, or find the garter ritual embarrassing. None of those things have to be part of your wedding day.

Rather, you’ll want to fill your day with moments that reflect you. Perhaps your centerpieces will be board game or book themed because those reflect how you spend your time. Maybe you’ll look for ways to include your family members who have played important roles in your life to date. Or perhaps you’ll place a priority on writing your own vows so the highlight of your ceremony is the two of you making the promises most important to you, in a style that reflects you and your relationship.

It helps to keep all of the above in mind as you begin to define your wedding day. Planning for 2020 weddings (and beyond) will be a big part of your coming months, but remember to take time for the two of you as a couple. Focus on your love that brought you to this place, have fun together doing something NOT wedding related, and enjoy this time in your life.