Yearly Archives: 2020

Our Responsibilities Going Forward

 in Ceremony / COVID-19 / Guests / Memorial services / Weddings  tagged COVID-19 / funerals / Masks / memorial service / Social distancing / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Our responsibilities going forward continue as states begin to ease restrictions on gatherings including weddings and funerals/memorials. As our country and state continue to deal with COVID-19, many areas are beginning to lift or ease limitations on wedding ceremonies and memorial services. In almost all cases there are still restrictions in place, and we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to honor them.

The number of people allowed to gather for ceremonies varies depending on whether it is taking place outdoors or indoors, and depending on the capacity of indoor spaces. But in all cases we are being asked to observe social distancing and to wear masks. Social distancing by household will require different seating plans (and in some places chairs are not being allowed at all). While masks hardly make a fashion statement as part of guests’ attire, the long incubation period of the virus makes them essential.

Masks are not worn to protect the wearer, but to help ensure that the wearer is not unknowingly transmitting the virus. Anywhere between two and 14 days can elapse between the time you are infected and the time you begin to show symptoms. If you attend a gathering during that time, feeling perfectly well and not knowing that you’ve been exposed, you can infect dozens of other people without knowing it.

A number of COVID-19 outbreaks have been traced back to funerals and other gatherings. That’s in part because it is so difficult to keep our distance when we want to show our support and to mourn together. We get too close without even thinking about it. And it doesn’t take long for the virus to spread.

Have you ever attended a wedding where you didn’t want to hug the happy couple, or the relatives you haven’t seen in awhile, or the school friends you’ve lost touch with through the years? We do it without thinking, and might well not know that we are giving or receiving the virus with those happy hugs. Our responsibilities going forward are to care for ourselves and others as COVID-19 continues to be an issue.

It may not be fun, but our responsibilities going forward include continuing to practice social distancing and to wear masks. It may be your own life you save, or the life of a relative or friend. None of us would knowingly put others at risk, and unfortunately, masks and social distancing are the best tools we have at this time to keep each other safe. So let’s be happy that restrictions are easing, but be cautious and diligent going forward, so we are part of the solution to this virus, and not part of the problem.

Making Personal Vows Relevant

 in Personalization / Wedding Vows / Weddings  tagged personal vows / personalized vows / wedding ceremony / wedding vows / weddings by

Making personal vows relevant is a great way to make them significant and memorable. Many couples want to write their own vows but can struggle to choose what to include in them. Including references to your life experiences connects you not only to your partner, but also with the family and friends witnessing your ceremony.

In 2020 the COVID pandemic is having an impact on all of us, and this recent article shows how some people might have modified thier own wedding vows if they had married in the time of COVID-19. Some of the vows speak to the general impacts we’ve all seen like shortages of toilet paper. Some are more specific to the couple, like references to Zoom meetings for work or personality traits that became obvious when quarantined together.

Even if you don’t want to use quarantine experiences in your vows, you can use the concept when making personal vows relevant for your wedding. For example, you can reference the little rituals and traditions you’ve established as a couple, or reminisce about funny experiences you’ve shared. Letting your personalities shine, and sharing specific moments from your time together will bring a smile, a laugh, or maybe a tear from your partner. Making personal vows relevant and significant as you make your promises to each other during your wedding ceremony will ensure the moment is memorable for you and your guests.

Humanist Celebrants Continue to Serve

 in Humanist Celebrant / Memorial services / Weddings  tagged funerals / Humanist celebrants / memorial services / weddings by

Humanist Celebrants continue to serve clients needing ceremony services to mark milestone moments in life. As a member of the Board of Directors of the Humanist Society – the organization that endorses and supports Humanist Celebrants I recently made a video talking about how Humanist Celebrants are working to support clients whether it be rescheduling a wedding or honoring a loved one:

Creativity in the time of COVID-19

 in Ceremony / COVID-19 / Memorial services / Weddings  tagged baby welcoming / creative ceremonies / memorial service / weddings by

“Creativity in the time of COVID-19” is one of the ways 2020 will be remembered. Celebrating and honoring important moments in life is a universal need, and many traditions have grown up around that need. We honor the birth of a child, a couple joining in marriage, and the death of a loved one. All of the ceremonies, celebrations and memorials that help us recognize those important moments in life are being turned upside down due to the pandemic ravaging our country right now.

Even in the midst of the limitations on gatherings and stay at home orders we’re living under in Minnesota, people are exercising their creativity in the time of COVID-19. You may have heard of using technology like Zoom or Facetime to allow guests to participate in weddings and memorial services. With these tools your loved ones are able to view and hear the ceremonies of celebration and remembrance from the safety of their own homes.

Some people have found other ways to modify traditions to fit current restrictions. There is a story about a funeral home offering drive by visitation, complete with flowers and a box for cards. The final line of this article mentions that there will be a celebration of life planned when we are able to gather again.

Family and friends are finding ways to honor couples choosing to keep their wedding dates, too. This example of healthcare workers taking time to celebrate with a colleague and make their day a bit more special is especially touching knowing the stress and workload the workers are experiencing.

I encourage anyone facing the challenges of a wedding, welcoming or memorial service to exercise your own creativity in the time of COVID-19 and make plans to recognize your milestones as best you can during these difficult times. Remember that there will be opportunities for receptions, memorial services and gatherings of all kinds in the future. They will be even more significant when we can gather with friends and loved ones to recognize the milestone moments in our lives.

A Moment of Reflection

 in Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged wedding / wedding planning by

A moment of reflection can help reduce stress as we all deal with the changes that the COVID-19 pandemic has brought to our lives. Perhaps you are newly engaged and beginning to plan your wedding day. Or perhaps your wedding date is only months away and you’re trying to figure out if you should postpone or hold your date. No matter where you are in the planning process you are likely stressed with the unknowns of what the future will bring. I received the poem below from a colleague, and hope you will find it as helpful in finding perspective as I did.

IN THE TIME OF QUIET by Philippa Atkin

No one’s told the daffodils about the pause to Spring
And no one’s told the birds to roost and asked them not to sing
No one’s asked the lazy bee to cease his bumbling round
And no one’s stopped the bright green shoots emerging through the ground
No one’s told the sap to rest, deep within the wood
And stop the sleepy trees from waking, wreathed about in bud
No one’s told the sky to douse its brightest shades of blue
And stop the scudding clouds from puffing headlong into view
No one’s asked the lambs to still the springs beneath their feet,
To stop their rapid rush and quell each joyful bleat
No one’s told the stream to halt its gurgle or its flow
And warned the playful breezes, not to gust and blow
No one’s asked the raindrops not to fall upon the earth
And fail to quench the soil in the season of rebirth
No one’s locked the sun down, or dimmed the shimmer of the moon
And even in the darkest night, the stars are still immune
Remember what you value, remember who is dear
Close the doors to danger and keep your family near
In the quiet all around us take the time to sit and stare
And wonder at the glory unfurling everywhere
Look towards the future, after the ordeal
And keep faith in Mother Nature’s power and will to heal

Wishing everyone good health and encouraging you to breathe deeply, hug your loved one if you’re able, and remember that this, too, shall pass.