Yearly Archives: 2020

When Love Wins

 in Celebration / COVID-19 / Personalization / Weddings  tagged COVID-19 / wedding / wedding planning / weddings by

When love wins couples get married and begin their new lives together. When love wins compromises may be made, but the ultimate goal is achieved. In the time of COVID-19 it takes a little more creativity and flexibility, but when love wins there are smiles all around.

This is the story of a family friend and her fiance. Hannah and Yousef spent much time, effort and money planning their perfect destination wedding for August 1, 2020 in Italy. When COVID-19 ravaged Italy and then started its rampage through the United States, it became clear to them that their wedding would not take place as planned.

They first had to deal with the disappointment of abandoning their dream, along with all the challenges of canceling plans and dealing with deposits and retainer fees they had paid. After mourning the loss of their dream for a bit, they decided to keep their wedding date. They decided that beginning their married life together was more important than any of the rest of their plans. They chose to let love win.

Most aspects of their day changed as they planned their new wedding day – from the location, to apparel, to the ceremony, to the guest list, to the celebration. But they kept some of the flavor of the day they had planned. Hannah wore white, and Yousef looked elegant in his blue suit. Their day started with their ceremony, although it was in a Chicago courthouse not on the Italian coast. They were surrounded by their closest loved ones, even if the guest list was smaller than originally planned. They still captured special moments throughout the day with the assistance of a professional photographer, but the backgrounds were a bit different. Best of all, they capped their day with a wonderful meal at an Italian restaurant, in a nod to their original plans.

Hannah and Yousef know that when love wins they win, too. They begin their marriage now, but will celebrate their commitment to each other and the love they share surrounded by family and friends at a later date. When health and safety issues make a such a gathering possible, they will dress up, hear toasts to their future, share a meal, and dance the night away. They may even choose to exchange their vows again as they remember August 2, 2020 – the day when love triumphed over a pandemic – a wedding day they will never forget. Best wishes, Hannah and Yousef, for a long and happy marriage!

Finding Opportunity in Crisis

 in Celebration / Ceremony / COVID-19 / Engagement / Wedding planning / Weddings  tagged COVID-19 / wedding / wedding celebration / wedding ceremony / wedding day / weddings by

Finding opportunity in crisis is a characteristic of resilient people. Our resilience is being tested daily as we continue to deal with the COVID-19 pandemic, especially in relation to the milestone moments in life. If you got engaged in 2019 or early 2020 you likely expected your wedding planning to follow a fairly predictable path. All of that got turned upside down when the pandemic reached our area in March of this year.

For engaged couples trying to plan a wedding in recent months the uncertainties have been overwhelming. How many people will be allowed to gather? Is my chosen venue even open? How can a wedding party practice social distancing? Will guests feel safe attending my wedding? Can family and friends travel for the festivities? When will this end?

All of these questions have caused stress for already engaged couples planning 2020 ceremonies. And then there are couples who feel ready to get engaged, but struggle to figure out how to even begin planning a wedding with all the uncertainties in front of them.

Finding opportunity in crisis is possible, however, so do not lose heart. Begin by prioritizing the elements of your wedding day. What is most important to you? The ceremony? The party? The dance? Having your grandparents witness your exchange of vows? Or simply being married and able to begin your marriage journey together? Depending on your answer, finding opportunity in crisis will be different for each of you.

If you want to be married most of all, you can consider a simple certificate signing in front of the legally required witnesses (and maybe a couple of other people). If you want a large gathering, including older friends and relatives, postponing your wedding day may be the right answer for you. Perhaps an intimate gathering with 20 or so people, including a sweet ceremony and significant vows followed by an informal meal where social distancing can be observed and face coverings can be worn may be perfect.

If you choose a certificate signing or intimate ceremony for now, remember that you can plan a larger celebration after the pandemic passes. That celebration can include a wonderful, personal ceremony, too. Wedding ceremonies usually serve the dual purpose of legally marrying you and voicing your commitment and promises in front of the people important to you. But those two purposes can be separated. You can legally marry now and share a wonderful wedding day including a ceremony honoring the commitment you made to each other earlier in private.

Finding opportunity in crisis means thinking outside the box, looking for different ways to accomplish your goals, and bringing creativity to your wedding planning. While there are benefits to being legally married, remember to honor your love and commitment with family and friends when circumstances allow you to do so. When this crisis passes, I believe that we’ll recognize and treasure the opportunities to celebrate life’s milestones with our communities of family and friends even more.

Connecting Elements of Your Wedding Day

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Decor / Guests / Personalization / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / wedding rituals / wedding theme / wedding venues / weddings by

Connecting elements of your wedding day together is a great way to tie your ceremony, your social hour, your dinner and your reception into a cohesive unit. Better yet if you connect the elements in a way that is meaningful to you as a couple. You can use thoughtfulness and creativity to accomplish a truly memorable experience by connecting elements of your wedding day in a meaningful way.

Begin by choosing a venue that represents a shared interest or has significance to you. Perhaps you enjoy wine. Choosing a vineyard or winery as your venue is a great start. Or for the railroad enthusiasts among you, perhaps renting a train for your wedding day is the way to go. Let’s create connections using those two examples.

The vineyard/winery venue offers a ceremony venue among the vines, with wine barrels in place of tables for the unity ritual or program distribution at the ceremony. Include a wine sharing or love letters and wine box ritual in the ceremony, and you’re on a roll. The social hour can feature your favorite wines which can follow through to dinner with wines selected for each course of your meal. Perhaps your cake is decorated in the colors of wine (reds, blushes, and creamy whites) or has a wine themed cake topper. Consider a takeaway for the guests of a wine glass or even a bottle of wine, and you’ve succeeded in connecting elements of your wedding day from start to finish.

For the railroad enthusiasts, you can hand out train whistles to your guests to serenade you as you share your first married kiss at the end of your ceremony. Those whistles can be used at the reception to call on you to kiss, and then be the guest takeaways at the end of the night. You might have a model train running around the cake table or the buffet table, and even choose a train themed song for your first dance.

Many of the ideas for connecting elements of your wedding day are not expensive, but require a bit of time and creativity. They serve to personalize your day and share a part of who you are with your guests. Each couple is unique, so celebrate who you are on your wedding day!

Advantages of Intimate Wedding Ceremonies

 in Ceremony / COVID-19 / Guests / Personalization / Weddings  tagged ceremony / COVID-19 / intimate ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / weddings by

The advantages of intimate wedding ceremonies are significant. With a smaller guest list options exist for all aspects of the ceremony. You might be opting for a smaller number of ceremony guests due to safety and health restrictions, or just because the idea appeals to you.

Either way, consider some of these options and advantages of intimate wedding ceremonies:

  • Choose a circle or semi-circle ceremony space layout. These connect you to your guests in a visual and emotional way.
  • Opt to forego a wedding party, simplifying planning and expenses and keeping the focus on you as a couple during the ceremony.
  • Invite guests to participate: identify someone to hold your bouquet and someone else to hold the rings.
  • Leverage skills and interests of your guests as readers, musicians or DJ for the ceremony, and even as photographer if you’re lucky enough to have a talented family member or friend.
  • Include spontaneous moments. Perhaps you want to speak to your families and express appreciation for their assistance and support. Or near the end of the ceremony you can invite them to voice their wishes for you going forward.

It’s not uncommon for couples to express concern about being the center of attention with all eyes on them during the ceremony. But smaller guest lists offer less of a “show” feeling to the ceremony and offer you less stress and more connection with your guests. Your ceremony can also be more intimate, sharing inside stories that family and close friends will understand. You can be more open and vulnerable to each other in front of a small group of close family and friends.

While large ceremonies have their own beauty, the advantages of intimate wedding ceremonies make them a great option for many couples. Whether it is to keep you and your guests safe in the time of COVID-19, or to best fit your personal style, make sure you discuss an intimate ceremony option with your wedding celebrant when planning your wedding day.

Social Distancing at Weddings

 in COVID-19 / Weddings  tagged COVID-19 / Social distancing / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Social Distancing at weddings is a daunting thought, but you can make it work. While the COVID-19 virus continues to be a threat in our country, especially to older Americans and those with some pre-existing conditions, many areas are relaxing rules about gatherings. Weddings in particular are currently allowed, but we are being asked to continue to practice social distancing to help keep each other safe and healthy.

I recently performed a small wedding where social distancing was observed during the ceremony. Each household sat on their own bench which were widely spaced. The couple and I kept our distance from each other, too, except for the few moments of the ring exchange.

Social distancing at 2020 wedding.

The couple chose to forgo their initially planned large wedding party in order to keep the number of attendees down. This wedding took place when gathering sizes were even more limited than they are today, but you’ll need to consider the size of your wedding party given social distancing requirements. You might consider having your honor attendants (best man, etc) stand with you, and have the rest of the wedding party walk in, and then be seated with their households for the ceremony.

The couple in the ceremony above kept their original wedding date, and modified the wedding plans as needed. Other couples are making different choices including postponing to later this year or even next year, hoping that the virus won’t be an issue. There is no right answer in these uncertain times, but making the decision considering what is most important to you about your wedding day will ensure that you’re making the right choice for you as a couple.

While social distancing at weddings is possible, it is more practical if you have a smaller guest list. The ceremony space is something you have reasonable control over, setting chairs apart from each other, identifying groupings for the households you know will be attending, etc.

You’ll also need to consider your reception plans with an eye toward social distancing. Table placement, seat assignments, and certainly unstructured activities like social hour and dancing must be considered. Your wedding plans may need to be modified to accommodate current limitations, but social distancing is possible at weddings, and most importantly, you’ll still be married at the end of the day, and will be embarking on your unique marriage journey.