Yearly Archives: 2019

Three Reasons to Hire a Professional Officiant

 in Celebrant / Officiant / Trends / Weddings  tagged officiant / professionals / wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding officiant / wedding professionals / weddings by

There are many more than three reasons to hire a professional officiant for your wedding ceremony, but there are three that I hear most often. As both a trained and certified Life Cycle Celebrant (R), and an endorsed Humanist Celebrant for a decade I’d had the opportunity to hear many horror stories from people who have seen poor wedding ceremonies. One of the most common causes for complaint is an unprepared family member or friend acting as the officiant. Here’s what couples have shared with me:

First, when I meet with couples for an initial consultation (a no cost, no obligation meeting) I’ve heard many times that they had never considered some of the topics I raise. For example, they haven’t thought about the logistics of the processional: who will walk in the processional, in what order, etc? They haven’t considered the possible elements of their ceremony – readings, rituals, guest involvement options, and more. They haven’t thought about where and how they will greet their guests following the ceremony. By engaging with a professional officiant all these topics will be discussed and your wishes will be honored.

Second, most couples in our area opt to have a rehearsal. As an experienced professional I can run your rehearsal in an efficient and effective manner. I can get and hold the attention of your wedding party, provide tips to help make everyone look sharp for the ceremony, and make sure that all the important points are covered. I’ve heard many times from couples, parents and attendants that the rehearsal reduced their stress and uncertainty so they could relax and enjoy the actual ceremony experience.

And third, professional officiants can prepare and preside over your ceremony in a way that is memorable for all the right reasons. The ceremony will be written well in advance, and you will have seen and approved it. The ceremony will follow a logical sequence and an emotional arc that leaves your guests satisfied and ready to move on to the rest of the celebration. Your officiant will offer the ceremony with professional vocal skills to ensure clarity and engage your guests.

These are just three reasons to hire a professional officiant based on my personal experience. You can find another perspective on this topic in an article from The Knot, here.

There is a trend toward having a friend or family member prepare and offer your wedding ceremony, but there are many possible pitfalls with that approach. Sometimes it works out well, but too often the ceremony is poorly written and presented, and opportunities for truly memorable moments are missed. Even a well-paid professional officiant accounts for a small percentage of your overall wedding budget, but will provide a great first act for your wedding day festivities.

Personalizing Your Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Music / Readings / Rituals / Unity Rituals / Wedding Vows / Weddings  tagged ceremony music / ceremony readings / personalized wedding / unity ritual / wedding vows / weddings by

Personalizing your wedding ceremony is a favorite catch phrase these days, but what does it really mean? Wedding ceremonies are full of traditions and can feel formulaic – seen one, you’ve seen them all. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Especially if you are planning a ceremony outside of a religious community the options are nearly endless.

Here are some ideas of ways to personalize your wedding ceremony:

  • Choose music that is meaningful to you. Country music, a single violin, guitar or harp, a movie theme or a classic rock’n’roll song can all be perfect if they are perfect for you.
  • Enter the ceremony space in an authentic way. Perhaps you’ll choose to walk in alone, with your parents, with your children, with your partner, or with your extended family. It all works, as long as they are the people you want to surround you at this moment.
  • Select a reading (poetry or prose) that reflects you as a couple or speaks to you in some way. Adding a reading that doesn’t resonate with you in some way is wasting time.
  • Write your own vows. The promises you make to each other on your wedding day are the most important words of the day, so make sure that reflect what is in your heart.
  • Consider unity ritual options beyond a unity candle or sand ceremony. There are a number of rituals with lovely symbolism, so take the time to explore the possibilities. And as with readings, if it doesn’t speak to you, consider passing on a unity ritual altogether.
  • Especially if you are having a smaller number of guests, look for meaningful ways to include them in your ceremony.
  • Include the important people in your life in your ceremony. Yes, it’s all about the two of you, but having significant people participate will make it special and memorable for you.

Personalizing your wedding ceremony isn’t difficult, but it takes some additional time and effort. An experienced, trained wedding celebrant can help you unpack these ideas, offer options and suggestions of her own and write custom elements and rituals to make your ceremony truly unique. Enjoy the process of personalizing your ceremony and treasure the memories for a lifetime.

Outdoor Wedding Season Arrives

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged outdoor wedding ceremony / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Outdoor wedding season arrives once more in Minnesota with the warm weather, green grass, and soft breezes. If you’re planning an outdoor ceremony there are a number of things to consider and plan for.

Outdoor Wedding Season – Plummer House
  1. Seating is not usually an issue if you are working with golf club or similar venue, but if your ceremony will take place in a park or in your yard for example, you’ll want to make arrangements for seating for your guests. Rental chairs are commonly available, but make sure you understand if delivery, set-up, take down and chair return are included in the quoted costs, or if you’ll need to make arrangements for all those tasks.
  2. An idyllic ceremony setting can be disrupted by pesky bugs. Understand what services the venue provides to control bugs, and what you are allowed to do. Consider having bug repellent and fans available for guests if there is no other way to control the bugs in the area.
  3. Outdoor ceremony venues can be challenging from a sound perspective. First of all, you’ll want to determine if there is electrical service at the ceremony site. You’ll also want to plan for adequate sound equipment for musicians/DJs as well as all ceremony speakers. If your guests have made the effort to be with you on your wedding day you want them to be able to hear all the festivities.
  4. After cold, dark winters we are always happy to see the sun. But it is possible to have too much of a good thing. Consider the placement of the sun at ceremony time. Will your guests or wedding party be looking directly into the sun? Is it possible to rotate the set-up of the ceremony space to remove that problem? And too much sun can also cause heat related health issues for you and your guests. You may want to consider the length of the ceremony, some way to provide shade for everyone, and cold water to keep people hydrated.
  5. We always hope for pleasant, sunny days throughout the outdoor wedding season, but know that Minnesota’s variable weather doesn’t always provide that. So you will need to identify an alternate ceremony venue in case of inclement weather. Rain, storms, strong winds and extreme temperatures can all require a move indoors. If you have a comprehensive bad weather plan established you can approach your wedding day hoping for ideal weather but confident that you’re ready to deal with any weather conditions.

While we welcome the opportunity to step outside for ceremonies, the outdoor wedding season requires thoughtful preparation. With some planning you can ensure that your day is as comfortable as possible for you and your guests. Here’s hoping for many pleasant spring, summer and fall weekends for everyone planning outdoor ceremonies this year.

Love Makes the World Go Around

 in Celebrant / Unity Rituals / Venue / Weddings  tagged wedding venues / weddings / weddings around the world by

“Love makes the world go around” took on new meaning for me in the last few weeks as I traveled to the other side of the world and back. Everywhere I went I saw indications of couples celebrating their love in similar places and similar ways. Love makes the world go around… all around the world.

In traveling to Australia I was visiting the home of the celebrant movement. In fact, more than 50% of weddings in Australia are officiated by celebrants. While I often have to explain what a celebrant is to people when they ask what I do, in Australia my profession as a celebrant is generally understood and even celebrated.

Just as in our area, wineries are in demand as wedding venues. I encountered this one, all set up for the ceremony, with a lovely memorial table set up with pictures in remembrance of loving grandparents.

Love makes the world go around – Set for a wedding at a Barossa Valley winery.
Love makes the world go around – a remembrance table at an Australian wedding.

And on a different day of winery tours I saw this banner advertising a different winery as a wedding venue.

Love makes the world go around – Banner advertising winery wedding venue in Australia.

And finally, when visiting the French Polynesian island of Mo’orea our tour stopped at a scenic overlook, and what should I find, but a fence with love locks attached, showing that this ritual crosses from Paris, France to the US, to islands in the Pacific.

Love makes the world go around – Love locks on Mo’orea Island, French Polynesia.

We truly are more alike than different when it comes to the important things in life like celebrating love by gathering family and friends for weddings and using ritual to mark these special moments. As we returned home to begin the wedding season here in Minnesota, I’m convinced that truly, love makes the world go around. I’m happy to be a part of the process as both a Humanist Celebrant and a Certified Life Cycle Celebrant, working with couples to make their wedding days special and memorable.

Handfasting Rituals: What’s Old is New Again

 in Ceremony / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged handfasting / unity ritual / wedding / wedding ceremony by

Handfasting rituals have been used to recognize and celebrate couples’ commitments to each other across hundreds of years and thousands of miles. First documented in the 16th century in Scotland and used to mark a betrothal or engagement, handfasting today is used as a unity ritual in a wedding ceremony. It is a visual and physical act the signifies the commitment and union of the couple. The handfasting ritual is the genesis of the phrase “tying the knot” in relation to marriage.

There are a number of ways to perform modern handfasting rituals. In all of them, the couple joins hands which are then gently bound together. Once you clasp hands, though, the actual wrapping and tying of your hands can happen any of the following ways:

  • A single cord or sash can be wrapped and tied around your hands by the celebrant as they explain the significance of the binding.
  • Alternately, you can have one or more people assist with the binding while the celebrant takes a narrators role. Couples often choose their parents or siblings or honor attendants for this special role in their ceremony.
Photo credit: Van Dreel Photography
  • Yet another approach to handfasting rituals is to use multiple ribbons or cords placed across your hands by people of your choosing. These ribbons can be used to signify wishes for your marriage going forward. Once all the ribbons are placed, they are tied together in a single knot, gathering the wishes up together. One couple marrying shortly after marriage equality passed in the US had seven friends use ribbons the color of the Pride rainbow, and individually extended their wishes. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

At the end of handfasting rituals you simply slip your hands out of the cord, sash or ribbons without untying the knot. That knot now symbolizes your marriage which, it is hoped, will be a long and happy one.

No matter which approach you prefer for handfasting rituals, they are wonderful ways to demonstrate your union and to involve important people in your ceremony. Pick the option that speaks to you, and have fun making it unique and representative of your love for each other.