Yearly Archives: 2019

Leveraging The Season

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Weddings  tagged personalized wedding / seasonal weddings / wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Leveraging the season is a great way to make your wedding ceremony feel timely and current. Decor, flowers, even the colors you choose can focus your day on the time of year you are marrying. If you have a favorite season and have chosen that for your wedding, even better!

A recent harvest themed wedding I officiated included pumpkins and mums. The bride is a very outdoors person, and table decorations included cross sections of a tree with deer antlers, flowers and candles. Pumpkins marked the entrance to the venue (in this case, decorated with the logos of the sports teams they follow). Huge burgundy mums on pedestals marked the ceremony space, and the bridesmaids wore burgundy dresses. The bouquets were mixed fall flowers from the bride’s garden. All these touches effectively leveraged the current season and the interests of the couple.

A winter wedding from a few years ago relied on ice blue and silver to accent the overall white theme of the day. Flowers, dresses, table decor, even the cake followed the winter wonderland theme fitting in perfectly with the frigid January day. A winter solstice themed wedding celebrated the return of the sun with its light and warmth.

Spring offers all kinds of themes from growth and rejuvenation to the Spring Equinox and fresh light colors. Seed packets can be gifted to guests to plant and a tree can be planted as your unity ritual. Perhaps a refreshing Spring themed cocktail can serve as the signature drink.

Summer weddings offer the opportunity to celebrate the long, warm days being experienced. There is a reading that begins, “Now in midsummer, a wedding…” which may be a perfect selection. Fans for your guests to stay cool during the ceremony make great favors, and decor in the rich, vibrant colors of summer fits right in. Offering cold water or lemonade before your ceremony can set the right tone.

If you met during the season you are marrying, got engaged during this time of year, or have birthdays around the wedding date those ideas can all be integrated into your ceremony and your day. Finding ways to connect the season to your relationship allows you to make the ceremony and your wedding day even more personal.

Whatever month you choose to marry, leveraging the season helps with your budget as you utilize nature and decor – think flowers in season – and allows you to customize and personalize your wedding day in myriad ways.

Making Everyone Welcome at Your Wedding

 in Ceremony / Guests / Unity Rituals / Weddings  tagged wedding ceremony / wedding guests / weddings by

Making everyone welcome at your wedding is one of the most gracious things you can focus on as the hosts of your big day. I’ve written previously about ensuring your ceremony venue is accessible for guests with disabilities but there are other ways to increase your guests’ comfort, too.

If you have a number of guests who are not fluent in English you might consider translating your final ceremony into their preferred language and making those copies available to them before the ceremony begins. This allows them to follow along and feel connected to what is happening.

One couple I worked with went further when the groom and his entire family spoke little English. They hired a translator for the ceremony. I knew about this ahead of time, and was able to assist the translator by providing a copy of the ceremony in advance so she could have her translation ready. I had also written the ceremony focusing on short paragraphs and simpler sentences so there were frequent breaks for translation. If you take this approach, make sure you opt for a shorter ceremony as your guests will be sitting through the equivalent of two ceremonies.

Turkish tea Ritual

Once, the groom, his family and most of his guests were from Turkey. They didn’t want to translate the ceremony, but wanted these important people to feel connected to what was happening. They had the reading offered in both English and Turkish, and we wove a Turkish tea ritual through the entire ceremony. The couple had met over Turkish tea, and often shared tea as they connected at the end of each day. The ingredients, the preparation and the sharing of the tea were all described as analogies to marriage. The guests who couldn’t understand English saw a familiar ritual, and saw the couple valuing the groom’s (and their) heritage.

Making everyone welcome at your wedding takes some thought and creativity, but the rewards are awesome. Your ceremony is more personal, your guests feel more connected to you and everyone is ready for more celebrating afterward.

Greeting Your Guests – Options Abound

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Guests / Trends / Weddings  tagged greeting guests / receiving line / wedding ceremony / wedding etiquette by

Greeting your guests is one of the basic responsibilities for all couples on your wedding day. These are the people you’ve invited to share your special day. Some have traveled significant distances and incurred significant expenses to be with you. It’s important for you to acknowledge their presence and express your appreciation for their efforts. There are, however, traditional and modern, formal and informal ways to accomplish this important task.

Traditionally, a receiving line immediately following the wedding ceremony provided the opportunity to greet your guests. Older style receiving lines included the couple, both sets of parents, and all your attendants in a long line. Receiving lines following the ceremony are still a great way to ensure you have a chance to speak with each of your guests, at least for a few moments. But often the line is limited to just you two, or just you and the parents. Your attendants and your guests are no longer subjected to awkward introductions among strangers, and this also makes the line move much more quickly.

Another opportunity for greeting your guests is a brief receiving line as everyone enters the reception venue for dinner. This can work well if you left immediately after your ceremony for pictures or if you expect that some guests will skip the ceremony and arrive only in time for the reception.

A modern alternative to a receiving line is to have you both re-enter the ceremony space immediately after the wedding party and parents recess at the conclusion of the ceremony. You then act as ushers, greeting your guests as they leave their seats and move on to the next phase of the celebration. This approach tends to take a bit longer, but your guests are able to remain seated until it is their turn to greet you.

Finally, if you’re opting for a more informal approach to greeting your guests you can mingle with them during social hour, or make the rounds of tables during dinner. These approaches work best if you have a smaller number of guests so you can keep track of who you’ve spoken to and who you haven’t.

Greeting your guests may seem like a chore, but as the hosts and honorees of the event, it is your responsibility to welcome and thank them all. These loved ones and friends want to share in your happiness, wish you well, and celebrate with you, so pick the approach that works best for you and enjoy the experience.

Dealing With Wedding Day Concerns

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged wedding / wedding concerns / wedding day / wedding problems / weddings by

Wedding day concerns are common and to be expected. Your wedding day is probably the largest and most formal event you’ve ever planned. On top of that, it marks a milestone moment in your life. Dealing with wedding day concerns in advance can make your day more enjoyable and memorable for you.

Some of your wedding day concerns can be addressed by putting contingency plans in place. For example, if you are planning an outdoor ceremony, what will you do in case of inclement weather? Extreme heat, cold, wind, or rain or thunderstorms can torpedo your dreamed of outdoor ceremony. But if you ensure that you have an acceptable indoor plan, you can roll with whatever weather presents itself on your wedding day. Since weather is beyond our control, it makes sense to plan for the worst and hope for the best, ensuring that you can enjoy your ceremony no matter the weather.

There are a number of wedding day concerns that you can’t plan for, but if you consider them ahead of time you will be prepared to gracefully roll with them if they happen. An example here is the common concern expressed by both brides and grooms, “What if I get emotional or cry during the vows?” My response is always that there is no problem with heartfelt emotion. Practically, the best thing you can do is take a moment to compose yourself and take a few deep, calming breaths. If you or your partner or an attendant can have a tissue handy, that can also help. Remember that a pause that seems incredibly long to you is likely only 15 or 20 seconds. Your guests will wait for you. No one is going anywhere until the ceremony concludes, and recognizing the significance of the moment with some honest emotion is never a problem.

A general wedding day concern is, “What if everything isn’t perfect?” It’s understandable that you want this important day that you’ve been working toward for a year or more to be perfect. But the fact is that there are many moving parts to the day, from the venue to the musicians, to the catering to the weather, to the guests. Most of these you don’t have direct control over on the wedding day, and odds are that something isn’t going to go the way you imagined. Once you’ve planned the day to the best of your ability it’s time to sit back and enjoy the ride. If something goes wrong, ask for help resolving the issue if possible, or just smile and roll with it. Sometimes those snafus make for memorable moments and great stories for years to come.

Considering possible wedding day concerns ahead of time allows you to plan for them where possible. And even just knowing about the possible problems before the wedding day can allow you to accept any imperfections and keep your focus on the important part of the day – making your public declaration of love and commitment to the person you plan to spend your future with. Everything else comes in a distant second. So keep your perspective and have a great day!

Involving Others in Your Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Guests / Rituals / Weddings  tagged wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding guests / wedding rituals by

Involving others in your ceremony is a great way to share your happiness on your wedding day. This is the day when you voice your promises to each other in front of family and friends. It is a community event, and including loved ones in more active ways is a great way to feel the love they have for you. There are a few different ways you can involve others in your ceremony. For example:

Before the ceremony begins:

  • You can ask someone to ensure that all honored loved ones get their corsages and boutonnierres.
  • You can charge one or more people with the job of welcoming guests and directing them to the ceremony space. This is especially helpful if you don’t have ushers as part of your wedding party, or if the parking and ceremony spaces are not in sight of each other.

During the ceremony:

  • Involving others in your ceremony can begin with the processional. You can invite grandparents, siblings or other close family members (perhaps an aunt who helped raise you) to be part of the processional.
  • Inviting someone to offer a reading is a common way to honor someone close to you, but you can also have a friend or family member offer the final wishes on behalf of your assembled guests.

If you wish to involve all of your guests in the ceremony, that is possible, too. Consider a ring warming ritual where your rings are passed among the guests. They hold the rings for a moment and silently express a wish for your marriage or imbue them with their love. When you exchange the rings, they represent not only the love of your partner, but the love and support of the important people in your lives.

Ring Warming ritual ©Midwest LifeShots Photography

A wishing pebbles ritual is another possibility. Here, your guests hold small stones (or shells or other keepsake you wish to provide) and under the direction of your celebrant, they imbue the pebble with wishes for your marriage. These stones can be individually gifted to you and the wishes shared during the actual ceremony if there are fewer than approximately 30 guests, or can be collected and shared with you as you greet your guests after the ceremony.

Wishing Pebbles

And finally, involving your guests can be as simple as them placing their thumbprint/signature on a poster as they leave the ceremony. This tradition comes from Quaker weddings where all guests sign the wedding certificate. A decorative copy of your vows, or a tree or heart shape can be provided to collect the contributions of your guests and later hung in your home as a reminder of all the special people who shared in your important day.

Thumbprint Ritual

Involving others in your ceremony brings them into your wedding day as active participants, demonstrating their love and support for you. It also offers you the opportunity to honor special people with visible roles. The day is all about you as a couple, but it is also about you as part of a loving community. Make the most of it.