Monthly Archives: March 2019

Unplugged Ceremonies: A Growing Trend

 in Ceremony / Guests / Weddings  tagged unplugged ceremony / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony / wedding guests by

Unplugged ceremonies are a growing trend for weddings. Simply put, an unplugged ceremony means your guests leave their phones and other devices in their pockets or purses during the ceremony. There are a few reasons to consider having an unplugged ceremony:

  1. Your photographer can do a better job. I’ve seen people step into the aisle to get a picture of the bride as she enters, totally cutting off the photographer who you’ve paid to capture the important moments of your wedding day.
  2. All your guests can see better. No one is standing or holding a device up in front of other guests trying to capture your entire ceremony on video, or taking lots of pictures.
  3. Your guests are able to be fully present with you during the ceremony. Guests will stay in their seats and pay attention to the celebrant, readers, musicians and most importantly to you as you share your promises to each other. No one will step in front of your parents to get a picture or video of the ring exchange as happened at one wedding I officiated.

You can achieve an unplugged ceremony with a tasteful sign at the back of the chairs, inviting guests to put their devices away so they can fully share in your ceremony. An even more effective way to communicate your wishes is to have your celebrant make a simple announcement before the processional begins. People sometimes don’t read signs, or feel comfortable ignoring them, but rarely do they hold their devices up after being specifically requested not to.

When I glance out at your gathered guests at an unplugged wedding I see smiles, perhaps a happy tear, and many sets of eyes focused on you and engaged in the moment. Otherwise it can be like looking at a sea of screens as nearly everyone tries to snap a picture or frame a video shot. While unplugged ceremonies are gaining in popularity, I’ve also encountered couples who have no concern with their guests snapping away during the ceremony, so as with all aspects of your wedding day, you can choose what best fits you.

Vow Renewals: Affirming Your Love and Commitment

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Vow Renewals / Weddings  tagged ceremonies / vow renewal ceremonies / vow renewals / wedding renewals / weddings by

Vow renewals interest to couples for a variety of reasons. But whatever the reason you’re considering a vow renewal ceremony, rest assured that it can be as special and significant as the first time you said, “I do”.

Traditionally vow renewals are held to mark a milestone anniversary – often 25 or even 50 years of marriage. And that’s still a great reason to gather your family and friends together and celebrate your very successful marriage. Vow renewals of this kind can renew treasured memories by including a reading or song from your first wedding. You can even recite the same vows you made to each other “back in the day”. And of course you might use the same color scheme, carry a similar bouquet, or have some of your original wedding party stand up with you once more.

Vow renewals are also wonderful if you opted for an elopement or courthouse wedding the first time around. Your vow renewal ceremony can be the big wedding you never had, or a simpler but significant experience. You can select a wedding party, wear a gown and tux or suit, perhaps have your children serve as flower girls or ring bearers if they are of an appropriate age. Since you’re already married, you might opt to enter the ceremony space together, but if you always dreamed of having your father or parents walk you down the aisle go ahead and start the ceremony that way. This kind of vow renewal ceremony can be created with all the personalization, rituals and elements of a first wedding. You’re limited only by your creativity and vision for your perfect ceremony.

A very special kind of vow renewal ceremony can be created if you’ve experienced a difficult time as a couple, and are coming back together now to re-commit yourselves to your marriage. You can opt for a very small, personal ceremony in this case, but feel free to opt for a larger celebration with family and friends if that feels right. Under these circumstances the ceremony can be your public statement of commitment and love to each other. It can mark a new beginning, a fresh slate, and a sincere promise to live up to the promises/vows you choose to make to each other.

Vow renewals can be as elaborate, formal and unique as you want them to be. They can also be brief, simple ceremonies offered as part of a larger celebration. Whatever the particular circumstances that cause you to consider vow renewals, there is a ceremony that can be crafted that will be personal, meaningful and memorable for you and that will fit your personality and style. Vow renewals are a great way to celebrate your love and commitment to each other, and mark another milestone moment in your life.

Marriage Is What Happens After the Wedding

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged engagement / engagement discussions / Marriage / weddings by

Marriage is what happens after the wedding day. While it’s easy to get caught up in all the fun and excitement of wedding planning – we’ll leave all the stress and anxiety of wedding planning for another day – it’s equally important to remember that your wedding day is only the beginning and marriage is what happens after the wedding is over.

Hopefully you’ve made the decision to marry when you feel confident that you know your partner well, when you believe that you are compatible for the long haul, and after you’ve had many deep discussions about your expectations of each other going forward. But sometimes, when you’re excited about falling in love, finding your “other half” and proposing or being proposed to, you might have missed some of the discussions you need to have before marrying.

Here’s a link to a great list of questions to consider and talk over with your partner before signing a wedding certificate. Some of the questions are very personal – about your sex life and intimacy expectations. Some are very practical – about handling finances and careers. And some questions are about long term, big picture hopes and dreams. Each of these categories deserves your time and attention as you ask and answer these questions with each other. Common wisdom says that the two biggest issues in marriages that don’t make it revolve around sex and money. You’ll be able to enter your marriage confident in yourselves and each other if you’ve honestly tackled the questions in this list.

Engagements serve two purposes: giving you time to plan the wedding day you want, but also giving you time to continue to grow as you anticipate your future together. While you want your wedding day to be special, authentic, memorable and unique, remember that marriage is what happens after the wedding day. You want to invest yourselves in making sure that you are giving your marriage every chance to succeed, so don’t overlook those big and important discussions along the way.

What Happens at a Secular Wedding?

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Personalization / Secular wedding / Weddings  tagged secular ceremonies / secular ceremony / secular wedding / wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

“What happens at a secular wedding?” is a common question for couples who have been raised in a religious tradition. The answer is simple. Pretty much whatever you want. In Minnesota, the only requirements to make a marriage legal are to have the proper paperwork, two witnesses, and say you want to be married to each other. It can be as simple as that, but most couples want to mark this important moment in their lives with something more significant.

Traditional weddings often have religious prayers, rituals and readings, so it is very reasonable to ask what happens at a secular wedding when you remove all of that. Does it still look like a wedding as you know it? Will you feel married after a secular wedding? What will your guests think of your secular wedding?

Rest assured that your secular wedding can still have much of the look and feel of a traditional wedding, if that is your wish. You can have a meaningful, possibly even a more meaningful exchange of vows, and secular weddings can be significant, memorable experiences for you as a couple and for your guests.

The general approach is to use secular wording, readings and rituals in place of religious language and actions. In your secular wedding you have a virtually unlimited choice of music. Any genre, live or recorded, can be used. You can select from contemporary poetry or literature for a reading, or use passages from ancient writers and poets if you prefer. There are a variety of secular, meaningful unity rituals to choose from, too. From tree plantings to love letters to handfastings and beer sharings, there is something for everyone who wants a unity ritual in their wedding. And that’s the beauty of secular weddings.

So now you know why the answer to the question, “What happens at a secular wedding?” is, “Pretty much whatever you want.” Your ceremony can be written or modified for you since there are no rules imposed by religious authorities. It can be authentic because you select the what and how of all the elements of your ceremony. This is a great opportunity to put your personal stamp on this important part of your wedding day. Work with your celebrant to ensure all aspects of your ceremony reflect who you are and what you are promising to each other in marriage. Have fun collaborating to create your perfect ceremony for your special day.