Yearly Archives: 2019

Congratulations!

December 25, 2019 in Celebrant / Ceremony / Engagement / Weddings tagged engagement / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding planning / weddings by Kathy

Congratulations to all of you who are receiving or giving rings this holiday season. Congratulations on choosing to make a public commitment to each other in marriage. As you share the happy news with family and friends in coming days, celebrate the love you’ve found together as you begin to plan your future, too.

Your wedding day will be a big part of that future. It is your opportunity to gather those people most important to you to celebrate with you. It is your opportunity to voice your heartfelt promises to each other in front of those very people. You’ll want your wedding day to be memorable and to reflect who you are as a couple.

Perhaps you will choose an intimate ceremony followed by a big celebration. Or maybe a large gathering to share your entire day fits you best. It’s possible that you will choose a small, low key, ceremony followed by a family dinner as your perfect wedding day. No matter what kind of day you envision for yourself, there will be many details to attend to.

Those details should never overshadow the reason for the day you’re planning. Your love and commitment to build your future together. Even when wedding planning feels overwhelming, it’s a good idea to set it aside and take a walk together or share a special meal where you can reconnect with good conversation, and remind yourselves why you’re planning a wedding in the first place.

If you’re planning a medium to large wedding you’ll want to secure your wedding venue(s) first. Many couples are taking advantage of the varied facilities at local venues to plan their ceremony and reception in one place. This simplifies things for you when planning and allows your guests to only need to locate one venue on the wedding day.

With your venue, and by extension your wedding date established, it will be time to begin to secure the services of the other wedding vendors you’ll need to complete your day. Your photographer, musicians, caterer and florists will all be on the list. Don’t forget to include your wedding celebrant in this early planning, too. Popular wedding dates book very early, so signing contracts or agreement documents with all of us is something you’ll want to close on as soon as possible. Especially if you’re looking at a 2020 wedding date it’s essential to move quickly.

Congratulations again to all newly engaged couples. I hope you have great fun celebrating with family and friends during the days to come. And as we move into the new year, I hope to hear from many of you as you begin to nail down all the plans for your upcoming wedding day!

Year-End Reflections

December 18, 2019 in Ceremony / Weddings tagged reflections / weddings by Kathy

Year-end reflections offer an opportunity for gratitude, appreciation and excitement. Since I enjoyed a wonderful, lengthy vacation in 2019, I actually performed a few fewer ceremonies than in recent years. That gave me a chance to step back a bit and reflect on my work as a celebrant.

I am grateful for the couples who selected me to be their wedding celebrant this year. I started the year with two ceremonies on New Years Day for couples who wanted to begin the new year as husband and wife. I had the honor of working with some families I had served in the past, marrying the sister of a previous bride and the brother of a previous groom. A work colleague of my husband’s asked me to marry her as well, and I appreciate the trust she placed in me.

Some of the ceremonies I performed this year were certificate signings, with only the briefest of ceremonies as we made their unions legal. I’m always intrigues to learn why people are choosing these very small, minimal ceremonies, and the reasons vary widely. Some are following with a destination wedding and find handling the legalities in the US is easier than dealing with local marriage requirements in other countries. Others have had a change in employment and need to obtain medical insurance via their partner. Some are marrying for a second or subsequent time and don’t want a fancy wedding this time around. Whatever the reason, and even when I don’t know why, I’m happy to oversee these marriages and support these couples.

I also performed a few same sex weddings this year. I’m always proud that our country now allows all couples to be joined in legal marriage, and happy to be part of celebrating the legal joining of all loving couples.

As the year draws to a close and I take the time for these year-end reflections, I’m also busy writing for the couples who have already booked my services for 2020. One of the things I’m most excited about with these new ceremonies is the way couples are dropping wedding traditions that don’t fit them, and replacing them with things that do. I’m thrilled to see couples walking into their ceremonies together, dropping the “giving away of the bride”, and surrounding themselves with a wedding party comprised of the most important people in their worlds – regardless of gender or number. I also see them looking for ways to connect with all the parents at the beginning of the ceremony and not limiting themselves to the traditional handshake between the bride’s father and the groom.

I am grateful for the opportunity to do this worthy work, and close my year-end reflections with a sincere thank you to all the couples, past and present, who have allowed me to share in the milestone moment that is their wedding day.

Unexpected Ceremony Venues

December 11, 2019 in Venue / Weddings tagged creative venues / creative weddings / wedding / wedding venues by Kathy

Unexpected ceremony venues can give your wedding day an extra bit of sparkle and interest. Staging your day at a location that speaks to you as a couple is a great way to personalize the entire wedding experience. Looking outside the box when it comes to wedding venues takes a little creative thinking, but can really pay off.

Are you craft beer enthusiasts? Contact local craft breweries to see if they can host your wedding. Locally, Forager has a garden and private rooms that can accommodate smaller, intimate groups. Maybe wine is your thing. We have a number of wineries in southeastern Minnesota that host weddings, including Four Daughters in Spring Valley, Chankaska Ranch and Winery in Mankato, and Cannon River winery.

Like being in the spotlight? Or maybe you’re an amateur thespian. Check out the rental options at Rochester Civic Theatre and you can be the star of your own show. This couple shared their first date at this very spot and love all things theater, so it was their perfect wedding venue.

Campgrounds may be one of the most unexpected ceremony venues I’ve encountered, but it worked perfectly for this couple. They loved to camp, and knew of a picturesque state park where they could reserve a large campsite complete with cabins for their guests. Everyone was invited to stay overnight and keep the celebration going.

Other unexpected ceremony venues to consider are museums and libraries where your guests can be entertained before or after the ceremony. For example, a science museum wedding was the perfect venue for an couple of engineers and their guests. The opportunity to rent an entire B&B or small resort offers a private space and housing for your guests traveling in from out of town.

While traditional wedding venues offer many amenities and can help make your day go smoothly, consider unexpected wedding venues as a way to put a unique stamp on your wedding day.

The Optimal Engagement: How Long Should It Be?

December 4, 2019 in Engagement / Weddings tagged engagement length / length of engagement / officiant / optimal engagement / wedding venues by Kathy

The optimal engagement length will vary based on many factors. It’s a good idea to begin your wedding planning with an open mind and lots of flexibility. Your venue(s) are likely to be the thing that determines how long your engagement will be as many of them book far in advance. But there are ways to plan your wedding in only a few months if that’s what you want or need to do.

Highly favored wedding venues for both your ceremony and reception are likely to be booked far in advance if you are looking for a popular month in your area. Here in Minnesota we’re seeing a shift from May and June as the most popular wedding months to September and October. So if you want a fall Saturday at an in-demand venue like the Mayowood Stone Barn, you may be scheduling a year or even two years in advance. If you are willing to consider a wedding between November and April you’ll have more venues and dates to choose from.

Friday and Sunday dates, even during peak months, may also provide you with more options and shorter lead times. You may even benefit from reduced prices on these days, although that is by no means certain. When choosing the day for your wedding you’ll want to make sure that the most important people on your guest list are available to share in your special day.

Flexibility is key in the selection of your venue(s), too. Depending on the size and formality of your wedding, you might consider places like Plummer House, Studio 324, or even local restaurants or backyards. Thinking outside the box, especially if you have a smaller guest list, can open up some lovely and interesting options.

Other vendors that you will want to book early are your photographer, musicians and officiant. Especially if you want the people with the best reputations and experience you’ll find that calendars book early. Again, you’ll find more availability on non-Saturday dates in late fall and winter months. Finding a date that works for you, your key guests, and your key vendors will allow you to settle on your wedding date and move forward with your planning.

The optimal engagement length also provides time for you and your fiance(e) to continue to grow your relationship. This is a time to consider how well matched you are for the long term so you can walk down the aisle confident that you are marrying the right person. If I had to pick the optimal engagement length that allows you to do this important work, along with all the tasks associated with planning a significant wedding event, I would choose around a year.

If you don’t have that much time for whatever reason, remember that you can be married in a simple ceremony, surrounded by a few important family and friends, in a much shorter time. I’ve even performed the simplest of weddings on the same day I was contacted by a couple. So begin your wedding planning as soon as you’re engaged. Decide what is important to you in a wedding, and that will determine the optimal engagement for you.

Including Grandparents in Your Wedding

November 27, 2019 in Celebration / Ceremony / Guests / Weddings tagged grandparent memorial / grandparents / wedding / wedding ceremony / wedding processional / wedding readings by Kathy

Including grandparents in your wedding is a great way to honor your family heritage and to express appreciation to these special people in your life. There are some things to consider, though, when planning for their participation in your wedding.

First, you’ll want to treat all the grandparents who are able to attend your ceremony the same. For example, if it is important to you to have a particular set of grandparents included in your processional, then all grandparents should be included. When deciding whether or not to have your grandparents walk in as part of the processional, you’ll want to consider their preferences, their health and mobility, the venue, and the size of your wedding party.

It’s good to talk to your grandparents about the possibility of walking in the processional, so you learn if they would prefer to stay out of the spotlight or are happy to participate. One reason they may choose not to participate is if their health is fragile or mobility is an issue for them.

Look, too, at the venue. Will you be asking your elders to walk over rocky or uneven ground or walk a significant distance? If so, they may opt out. Finally, look at the size of your wedding party and the length of the processional with and without the grandparents. If you have 8 bridesmaids and groomsmen, two ring bearers, three flower girls and a variety of parents and step-parents who will all need to walk in, along with the two of you, before the ceremony can begin, you might opt to leave the grandparents out of the processional.

If you decide not to have the grandparents walk in the formal processional, you’ll still want to have reserved seating for them up front. Don’t forget to let them know about it, too, so they can look for it or tell an usher who will seat them appropriately.

Another great way of including grandparents in your wedding is to have them offer a reading. If you’re fortunate enough to have a set of grandparents who have been married for a long time, perhaps they could share a reading on love or marriage. Guaranteed to not have a dry eye in the group.

But what if your grandparents aren’t able to attend because of health, distance, or because they have died? There are still ways of including your grandparents in your wedding in these situations.

You may place a table at the back of the ceremony venue with their pictures and a message like, “In loving memory…Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved and missed, so very dear.” You can include memorial wording in your ceremony or in your program. Or you can include wedding pictures of your parents and grandparents on a special table near your cake in the reception space. All are great ways to remember these wonderful people who played a part in making you the person you are on your wedding day.

Thoughtfully including grandparents in your wedding will add depth and meaning to your day for you and for your guests. It’s a great way to celebrate those who are able to be with you, and to remember those who are not.

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