Yearly Archives: 2018

Use Music to Set the Mood

 in Ceremony / Music / Weddings  tagged ceremony music / music by

Use music to set the mood for your wedding ceremony and wedding day. Taking time to select music that has meaning for you is another way to personalize your wedding ceremony. Yes, your music provider – DJ or live musicians – can provide generic prelude music before your ceremony begins, and can tell you what the most popular choices are for music during the ceremony, too, but why choose those for your once in a lifetime (hopefully) wedding ceremony.

Rather than using the same music other couples are selecting, take a little time to choose cuts that are meaningful to you. Maybe you remember the first song you danced to. Or there’s a song with lyrics that really describe your feelings for each other. Or there’s a certain style of music that gets your toes tapping. Those are the pieces you want to hear on your wedding day.

I worked with one couple who were big K-pop (Korean pop music) fans. Their first trip together was to Canada to see their favorite group perform. So they chose to exit their wedding ceremony to a wonderful upbeat K-pop song. Another couple were big country music fans and found lovely ballads for the processional, and a boot stomping selection for the recessional.

Whether your preference is for traditional, classic music, big band, pop, country or even metal, use music to set the mood for your wedding ceremony. It will make the experience more personal, more memorable, and more authentically you.

Ceremony Venue Selection

 in Ceremony / Venue / Weddings  tagged ceremony / venue / wedding by

Ceremony venue selection is one of the earliest tasks when planning your wedding day. So, if you’re one of the new Valentine’s Day engagements – Congratulations to you, by the way – you’ll soon be looking at venues for your wedding ceremony. Outdoor ceremonies continue in popularity, and can be beautiful, but there are some extra things to consider when visiting outdoor ceremony venues. For example:

1. Bad weather – is there an indoor backup space at same location? If not, how would your guests know where to go, and if you’ve moved the ceremony indoors somewhere?

2. Position of the sun – will it be in your eyes? The eyes of your guests? This can be a real distraction if you select a ceremony time anywhere near sunset.

3. Accessibility – are the distance from parking and the terrain to be covered comfortable for your guests? Certainly consider elderly guests, but a broken leg can happen to anyone at any time.

Ceremony venue selection

4. Privacy – is there a place for the wedding party to gather and line up for the processional that is out of view from the guests? Some venues are so open that there’s no place to begin the processional from, and guests can see the entire wedding party at all times.

5. Seating – is seating provided for the guests? Do you have to set it up, or is that handled for you? Unless you are having a very brief (10 minutes or less) ceremony, your guests will be more comfortable if they can be seated. And arranging chairs is an additional task that your wedding party doesn’t need to be handling on a busy wedding day.

6. Facilities – are there bathrooms in the vicinity for you and your guests to use? Especially important for guests who have driven a distance to be with, you want them to be comfortable upon arrival.

7. Insects – are there any provision for bug control? I’ve seen guests spend most of the ceremony swatting at mosquitos, bees, and small biting insects. Memorable, but not the way you want it to be. See if it is possible for the venue to do a “bug bombing” of the ceremony site in advance of your ceremony time.

Using the considerations above, potential ceremony venues can be evaluated in a fair and logical way. Ceremony venue selection can soon be checked off your to do list, and you’ll be moving on to planning other aspects of your ideal wedding day.

Envision Your Wedding Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged wedding ceremony by

It can be a challenge as an engaged couple to envision your wedding ceremony in detail. You know your date, you know your venue, you know you’re going to have a ceremony, but what will that include and how will you make is special and memorable? Couples I work with are seeking a secular or non-religious ceremony, but want it to be appropriately significant and to mark this important step in life.

Occasionally I’ll meet with a couple who already knows many of the things they want in their ceremony, and I’m happy to work with them to include those elements. But most often couples tell me they have little idea where to start or what to include. Since we aren’t bound by religious requirements the simple answer is that anything is possible, but that isn’t a particularly helpful answer. That’s why I come to each initial meeting with a couple prepared with lists and pictures and ideas and experiences.

Envision Your Wedding Ceremony - Crossing the threshold to marriage

Using those resources we can quickly determine what is important to you as a couple, and what you want to spend time on during your ceremony. We can also set a target length for your ceremony, and explore many options and possibilities to reflect your personalities and priorities. During our discussion you can begin to envision your wedding ceremony in a more concrete way – you understand the flow, the content and the feelings evoked.

Being able to envision your wedding ceremony will help it feel more real, and can relieve the stress of the unknown. And it will become even more real to you when I provide the first draft of your ceremony and you can see it come together. Every couple deserves to have a unique and memorable ceremony. Together we can envision your ceremony and then bring it to life.

Pros and Cons of an Unplugged Ceremony

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged unplugged ceremony by

An unplugged ceremony is an option that many couples at least consider when planning their wedding. There are degrees of unplugged options ranging from a polite request to total confiscation of electronic devices. Only you know how important this is to you, and the personalities of your guests to guide you in deciding how far to go.

There are both benefits and drawbacks to opting for an unplugged ceremony including those listed below.

    Pros of an Unplugged Ceremony:

1. Your guests will be able to focus more on the actual ceremony if they are not worried about angles, lighting, and obstructions to the picture or video they are taking.

2. When you look out at your guests during your wedding ceremony, you’ll see their faces, not an array of devices, looking back.

3. Your photographer/videographer can get some shots of the guests that are free of devices. They won’t have to worry about a bunch of devices showing up in the background as they take images of you, and they won’t have to step around Aunt Millie who is standing in the middle of the aisle taking pictures as you walk up the aisle. I’ve seen photographers do this, and I’ve seen them unable to get the best images/angles because of clueless guests.

4. If your guests share the photos/video they take with you, you might get some great unscripted moments and different angles than those captured by your professional photographer.

5. Your guests can share their photos/video on social media before you receive the finished products from your photographer or videographer. (This can be a con, too. See below)

    Cons of an Unplugged Ceremony:

1. Your guests may post images to social media while your wedding celebration is still going on, which can be awkward if you had to limit your guest list, or if you’re concerned about party crashers. Worst story on this front was a groom who saw pictures posted of his bride even before he had seen her in person.

2. Your guests may resent being asked to turn off their devices for the ceremony. They may be truly upset if being asked to surrender their devices for the entire event. This can actually be hazardous if you have on call medical or emergency services people in attendance (in these cases, a simple request to silence devices and keep them in pockets may be most appropriate).

3. You may miss some of the most entertaining or romantic candid moments caught by a friend or relative.

It really is unfortunate to see a sea of screens/devices pointed at you throughout the wedding ceremony, so requesting an unplugged ceremony with a request from the officiant before the processional may be the right middle of the road option. Then your guests can go crazy during the reception and capture some great moments and memories to share with you.

Winter Weddings: An Emerging Trend

 in Trends / Weddings  tagged winter weddings by

Winter weddings are an emerging trend in Minnesota and elsewhere. With picture of pristine winter wonderland weddings gracing magazines and websites, it’s not hard to imagine embracing the idea. I’ve received more requests for winter weddings than in previous years, and with our weather, they require additional thought and planning.

First, it’s important to consider how winter weddings impact you as a couple, and your wedding party. Make sure your expectations are reasonable, and that you have contingency plans. For example, while you may be envisioning lovely pictures in the snow with evergreens as your backdrop, realize that there may not be any snow and you’ll be standing on brown, dead grass. Or you may have so much snow that tromping up to the tree line may not be possible. Even if the weather cooperates, you’ll want to have boots for everyone, and some kind of warm wrap or jacket for the women in your wedding party. You will also want to consider the style of your dress – sleeves perhaps, instead of a strapless gown to provide a little more coverage and warmth in the weather, or one of the new gowns with a matching full length coat.

Unless your wedding is limited to you two, your witnesses and a very few, hardy guests, I suggest you plan an indoor ceremony for your winter wedding. Set near a striking fireplace, or against windows with the winter wonderland view beyond can be lovely, but freezing and slipping on snow is not going to be welcomed by most of your guests. And speaking of guests – you will need to be prepared for last minute cancellations if a significant storm chooses your wedding weekend to visit the area. This can impact your costs significantly as final numbers will likely need to be in to your caterer before guests know they can’t make it.

You may also want to consider a single venue wedding – perhaps at a hotel or resort where the ceremony, reception and even guest accommodations are all in the same place. So if your guests can safely make it to the venue they can relax and enjoy the day, knowing that they don’t have to travel further. If that’s not possible, consider providing shuttle services for your guests and wedding party.

If you can live with the uncertainty that winter weather brings to your wedding plans, holding your wedding from November through March will likely increase the choices of venues, musicians, photographers, officiants and all your other vendors. Guests are also less likely to have social conflicts during the slower, winter months, and you might be able to take advantage of family and friends who have traveled for the Thanksgiving or December holiday seasons, too.

If you love the winter season, are timing your wedding with a significant event in your relationship, or if it simply works best with your schedule, embrace the idea, plan accordingly, and have a wonderful, memorable winter wedding.