Monthly Archives: November 2018

Expressing Gratitude: A Gracious Touch

 in Ceremony / Guests / Personalization / Weddings  tagged gratitude / wedding / wedding ceremony / weddings by

Expressing gratitude at your wedding is a gracious touch to a day normally focused exclusively on you as a couple. With the Thanksgiving holiday this week, it is a natural time to reflect on all the things we are grateful for in our lives. I invite you to consider highlighting some of that gratitude when gathering with your family and friends to celebrate at your wedding, too.

Here are just a few of the people you might want to recognize in your ceremony:

– The guests who have gathered to celebrate with you. Expressing gratitude to everyone for making the effort to be there in the opening moments of the ceremony will make them feel appreciated and a part of your day.

– Family members and friends who have passed or are not able to be with you due to illness, geography, or military service. These loved ones can be honored with a general statement, or by naming them, or by invoking a moment of silence in their memory. Alternately, a candle can be lit in their memory, a memorial note can be placed in your ceremony program, or pictures of them can be placed in a prominent location in either the ceremony space or reception venue.

– Expressing gratitude and appreciation for your parents can be included in your wedding ceremony or in toasts at your reception. You might consider what they have given you growing up – opportunities, love, and support as you grew into the person you are today. Or perhaps they have been very supportive of your relationship, or with planning your wedding day. You might even thank each others parents for raising the person who you love.

– If the people who introduced you are at your wedding, giving them a special nod or even a role in your ceremony can be a wonderful touch. I’ve had friends share a reading, and mentioned the maid of honor or groomsmen who introduced the couple. In one special ceremony, the relatives who introduced the couple were invited to participate in the sand ceremony, pouring the first layer of sand symbolizing the family foundation that the couple’s relationship is built on.

– And finally, you want to find a way to express your gratitude to your partner. If you’re writing your own vows, remember to mention the positive impact they have had on you, or how much you love them, or how wonderful it is to consider a future by their side. Otherwise, your toast at the reception is another good place to thank them and tell everyone what a wonderful person they are.

While the wedding day is all about you, expressing gratitude for the important people in your life is a thoughtful and gracious gesture. It demonstrates your appreciation of the fact that we walk through life surrounded and impacted by others, and that will be true throughout your marriage, too.

Ceremony Length: What is Too Short and Too Long?

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony length / ceremony too long / ceremony too short / wedding / wedding ceremony by

Selecting the right ceremony length for your wedding will ensure a significant, meaningful ceremony experience, and will keep the attention and interest of your guests at the same time. Finding the right balance between too short and too long is actually fairly easy to do when you have control over the content of your ceremony.

When you choose a customized wedding ceremony you are able to decide what elements you wish to include and can choose the target length of your ceremony, too. Readings, unity rituals, and even your vows can be selected with an awareness of length and complexity if you want to keep your ceremony on the shorter side. The Love Story segment (or homily or sermon) can easily be expanded or reduced as well.

So how short is too short and how long is too long when considering your ceremony length? This is a significant moment in your life and should not be rushed. You are making promises to each other that are meant to last a lifetime. And you’ve gathered your family and friends to share this moment with you. They may have traveled long distances and made significant efforts to share this moment with you. With all that said, I recommend that you not plan for a ceremony shorter than 15 minutes (and add a few more to allow for the entrance and exit of the parents and wedding party). Shorter than that is likely to leave everyone feeling that they blinked and missed the ceremony.

On the other end of the ceremony length spectrum, I recommend that you limit your ceremony to 30 minutes or less. No matter how interesting, creative and meaningful your ceremony is, after 30 minutes your guests are going to be getting restless, anxious to check their devices and ready to move on to the next part of your wedding day. Remember that if your ceremony is not bound by religious requirements, you’re not taking time with impersonal rituals or elements. The entire ceremony is focused on you, your love and the commitment you are making to each other, so you can cover a lot of ground in 30 minutes. Select a target ceremony length that gives you time to recognize this important moment in your life and you’ll have wonderful memories to look back on for years to come.

Secular Ceremonies: A Great Option

 in Ceremony / Music / Personalization / Readings / Rituals / Secular / Weddings  tagged non-religious wedding / personal ceremony / secular ceremonies / secular ceremony / secular wedding / wedding ceremonies / wedding ceremony by

Secular ceremonies are growing in number across the United States. A third of people aged 18 – 34 do not identify with any religion, but want a meaningful, personal ceremony on their wedding day. If this defines you, secular or non-religious weddings are an option you’ll want to explore.

Because secular ceremonies are not bound by religious requirements they are more flexible and can include only the elements that are significant to you. Don’t want prayers and religious rituals? No problem. Want to include contemporary music and a poem that is meaningful to you? Again, no problem. Interested in having important people in your life help with a unity ritual like handfasting or a tree planting? Absolutely.

That kind of flexibility is possible with secular ceremonies because they are not pre-written ceremonies where only your names are slotted in as a token to personalization. Rather, working with your celebrant, you create the outline of your ceremony and collaborate to make it what you want it to be.

Handfasting, a unity ritual that can include family or friends

Options for music, readings and unity rituals are greater with secular ceremonies, and are limited only by your creativity. Beyond actual ceremony content you can also be creative with how you organize your processional and, recessional, and with your ceremony venue. I’ve had a groom escorted into the ceremony by his fellow adopted siblings, a bride escorted by her brother, sister-in-law and nieces, and a number of brides and grooms enter together. Recessional music is a great way to begin your post-ceremony celebration, and the theme from “Rocky” or “Everything is Awesome” from the Lego movie may fit you perfectly. Ceremonies have taken place in back yards, in caves and on beaches, in parks, museums, and theatres, and in historic barns and on beautiful golf courses, with each venue offering its own special appeal.

Garden wedding venue

If you aren’t tied to a religion and want your wedding ceremony to reflect on the love you’ve found together, honor the commitment you’re making to each other in marriage, and celebrate the bright future in front of you, then a secular ceremony is the perfect answer for you. I’ve been creating and performing secular ceremonies in southeastern Minnesota for nine years now, and can assure you that they are not only possible, but are well received by guests, are a great way to start your wedding day celebration, and will ensure great memories of your wedding for years to come.