Monthly Archives: August 2018

Change Happens

 in Ceremony / Weddings  tagged ceremony / wedding ceremony / wedding changes / weddings by

Change happens, in life and in wedding planning. There are so many moving parts when planning a wedding day that something is bound to change. That’s normal and OK… if you actively manage the change when it happens.

I’ve seen two different couples handle change very differently, one successfully, and one not so successfully. In the first case, the couple moved the time for their ceremony out 90 minutes, and didn’t let me know. The Ceremony Agreement we had all signed stated one start time, and their invitations went out with a time listed that was 90 minutes later. By the time I found out about the change – from the venue manager, because the couple never contacted me about needing to change the time – I had booked an event with another couple in a nearby town for later that day and could not perform the wedding at the later time.

The second couple shows how a similar situation should be handled when change happens. In this case, shortly after booking my services with a stated ceremony start time in the Ceremony Agreement, the bride decided the day would flow better if the ceremony started 30 minutes later than first planned. She contacted me to ask if I could accommodate the change, and I assured her I could. She asked me not to change anything yet, as she wanted to ensure that the new time would work with her other vendors – photographer, musicians, florist, and of course, the venue. Once everyone confirmed their ability to handle the change, she confirmed the new ceremony start time with all of us. We’re all working to the new time, and because the change was made early enough in the planning process and communicated well with all impacted vendors, I expect that all will be well come her September wedding day.

Weddings are complex events with many moving parts and involving many people, so it’s not surprising when change happens. It also doesn’t have to be problematic when change happens if you take the time to consider who all will be impacted by the change and communicate with them as early as possible. Staying relaxed and thoughtful when dealing with changes will help ensure that your wedding day comes together the way you envision it.

Why Opt for a Custom Wedding Ceremony?

 in Ceremony / Personalization / Weddings  tagged custom ceremony / custom wedding / custom wedding ceremony / wedding ceremony by

Why opt for a custom wedding ceremony when a pre-written ceremony is easier and cheaper? Because your wedding day celebrates the two of you and the love you’ve found together. That love is unique to the two of you, and deserves more than a “fill in the names” ceremony. You’ve invested long months making many decisions about napkin colors, centerpieces and name cards. Doesn’t your ceremony deserve some focus and investment, too?

There is no question that if you opt for a custom wedding ceremony you will need to invest some time and attention. You’ll need to provide information on yourself and on you as a couple to allow your celebrant to create a ceremony that authentically reflects you. You’ll need to review a draft or two to ensure that they have the facts right and have captured the tone you want for your ceremony. But many couples have shared that the time they invest working on their ceremony has been time well spent. When they’re busy and stressed by the myriad decisions and tasks associated with planning a wedding day, taking an hour or two to think about their love, their past experiences together and the future that is in front of them can be an opportunity to focus again on the big picture. To focus on what’s really important about the day and why it is even happening.

When you opt for a custom wedding ceremony it puts you in the drivers seat. You select your own music (without limitations imposed by religion or officiant). You select your own reading(s), can decide not to have any at all, or can request assistance in identifying a reading that reflects some aspect of your story. The choice of unity ritual and the choice to include one are also yours, with customization to make it relevant to you a great option. With your vows the centerpiece of your wedding ceremony it only makes sense that you have the option to write your own, or to select ones that speak to the promises you want to make to each other in marriage. When you opt for a custom wedding ceremony you choose which ceremony elements to include and control how they come together.

Opt for a custom wedding ceremony to ensure it reflects you as a couple.

More skill, resources, knowledge and time are required from your celebrant when you opt for a custom wedding ceremony and it will accordingly be a bit more costly. When viewed as a percentage of your wedding budget your ceremony is still one of the smallest expenditures you will make, though, and is really what your wedding day is all about… the two of you professing your love and commitment to each other in front of your family and friends. All the rest is just a great party, so give your ceremony the time and attention needed to make it the perfect beginning to your marriage adventure.

Personal Unity Rituals: A Perfect Way to Make Your Ceremony Meaningful

 in Uncategorized by

Personal unity rituals can be the perfect way to make your wedding ceremony more meaningful and memorable. Unity rituals are visual demonstrations of the vows you make to each other, and there are a number of lovely standard options available ranging from handfastings to love letter boxes to wine or beer sharings. Rituals can be even more meaningful if they connect with you and your story as I’ve seen in a number of recent ceremonies.

I’m working with a couple who wrote letters to each other while the groom was in military basic training. For their ceremony they’ll be writing new love letters to mark their wedding day, and placing them, along with the saved letters from years ago, into a box. They’ll write new letters on each subsequent anniversary, and accumulate the wonderful story of their relationship through the written word.

Mortar and Pestles for a unique unity ritual.

Just last week I married two pharmacists who had already planned their unity ritual when we first met. They obtained a beautiful mortar and pestle set, an iconic representation of their profession, and planned to join two substances representing the joining of their lives in marriage. This unique ritual held special meaning for them, and was a memorable part of their ceremony for all the guests, too.

Customizing handfasting with the use of rainbow colored ribbons.

I’ve also customized the handfasting unity ritual using rainbow colored ribbons for a same sex couple, and using the colors of sky, sun, earth and trees for a nature loving couple. With a little creativity personal unity rituals can be developed using a standard ritual as the base.

While not required as part of a wedding ceremony, unity rituals and especially personal unity rituals can be a wonderful addition. Working with your celebrant you can explore the wide array of rituals available and use or create one that will be particularly meaningful for you.

Same Day Marriages in Minnesota – Not Always Easy

 in Ceremony / Officiant / Weddings  tagged elopement / same day marriage / wedding ceremony by

Same day marriages in Minnesota can be tricky, as many couples discover. They apply for their marriage license at the local county offices, and then ask the clerk, “Now where can we get married?” In many counties in Minnesota there is no place to go at that moment. By Minnesota state law judges and retired judges can perform marriages, but in many counties they are so busy that they cannot offer these services at all, or at least not during business hours or without a scheduled appointment. And very few counties staff a wedding officiant on site.

So what’s a couple to do? Many turn to Google or the internet in some form. A simple search of “wedding officiant ‘city name'”, for example, “wedding officiant Rochester”, will return information on local wedding officiants. With a quick phone call or two you may be able to find someone who can provide the service you seek that very day.

That’s what happened to me just yesterday. I was traveling back to Minnesota after a family gathering when my phone rang about 1pm. A bride was on the line asking if I could provide a wedding ceremony in a few hours. Fortunately, my calendar was open, and at 7pm we stood in her grandparents backyard for a short, sweet exchange of vows and rings. With wishes for a long and happy marriage I pronounced them legally married and they sealed their promises with a kiss.

I call these kinds of ceremonies Vow Exchanges. They are not customized to you, but can include personal vows you write, if you wish, or I can offer a choice of a few “repeat after me” vow options. The ceremony includes an optional exchange of rings, too. If you don’t want any ceremony at all, I also offer a “Certificate signing” service that meets the minimal requirements for marriage in the state of Minnesota. I offer Vow Exchange and Certificate Signing services for very small gatherings in Rochester only, at agreed upon days and times.

So, if you’re looking for options for same day marriages or short turnaround services, I can be of assistance. You can have a memorable experience even if you discover the county offices aren’t able to meet your needs. Call me.