Little ones in the wedding party can be adorable, cute, and sometimes funny. But I always warn couples that we have to be prepared to have the little ones run the show, or at least the processional. You might envision two adorable little boys carrying a sign or an ethereal flower girl strewing flower petals artistically down the aisle. The reality, however, may be a meltdown at the back of the aisle and refusal to walk, or a run down the aisle leaving the sign behind. One flower girl enjoyed all the attention she got as she walked up the aisle, but upon reaching the front realized that she hadn’t dropped any flower petals along the way. So she upended the basket, leaving a large pile of flower petals right in front of the groom.
The truth is that by the time comes for children to walk up the aisle for the ceremony they have often been out of their normal routine for days, may be sleeping in unfamiliar places (or not sleeping at all) if they are not local, and their meal and daily schedules may be totally off. Add in lots of excited people around them, lots of strangers looking at them, and being dressed in confining or uncomfortable clothes, and it’s no wonder that they may struggle.
If there are little ones in your family or among your friends that you are close to, by all means include them in your wedding party. Just make sure that you are ready to roll with any last minute changes in plan. I recommend having a family member or familiar caregiver be with the child(ren) as the processional lines up so they can be whisked away in case of a noisy meltdown. It can also help to have a familiar face near the front that can encourage the child to come to them. I’ve also seen a child being walked hand in hand with a parent when shyness overcame them – maybe not the original plan, but it was very sweet.
One of the most successful approaches I’ve seen was a father who kept the young flower girl away from the ceremony venue until about 20 minutes before the ceremony. He arrived with a well rested, recently fed, freshly dressed little one. He kept her away from the gathering guests, and stayed with her until she headed down the aisle. He then popped around the outside of the chairs and joined her grandparents in front, where she then sat on his lap for the entire ceremony.
Even with all those preparations, things could have gone wrong. So, if including little ones in the wedding party is in your future, make sure that you’re ready to adjust plans on the fly if needed, because they really are in charge.