Monthly Archives: April 2018

Ceremony Programs – A Personalization Tool

 in Ceremony / Programs / Weddings  tagged ceremony programs / order of service / programs / wedding programs by

Ceremony Programs are an oft debated topic: Do we need them? Do we want them? What should be on them? What should they look like? As with most questions encountered when planning your wedding there are no right or wrong answers, only the right and wrong answers for you. So let me share some thoughts on ceremony programs.

Ceremony programs have traditionally been used to guide guests through the wedding ceremony and to identify members of your wedding party. And they can be as simple as that. But they can also include much more information and even serve multiple purposes. For example, you can include a thank you to parents or a remembrance of grandparents who have died. You can also share directions or schedule information such as, “Guests are invited to proceed directly from the ceremony to social hour at the Stone Barn.”

Beyond simple information sharing, ceremony programs provide an opportunity for more personalization. I’ve seen programs formatted as newspapers with brief columns on the couples’ history and activities. Mini-bios on your wedding party allow your guests to understand the history you share. If you really want to have fun with your program, consider reserving one side for Mad Libs or a crossword puzzle based on the two of you.

And finally, your ceremony programs can serve multiple purposes. Printed on heavy paper and mounted on a stick, they become fans to help keep your guests comfortable. Attach a packet of seeds to the ceremony programs and they deliver your favors to your guests. And if you are marrying at the height of summer, you can tie your ceremony programs to bottles of water. Your guests will appreciate the thoughtful gesture.

While ceremony programs are an optional part of your wedding day, if you choose to have one, consider investing a bit of time and creativity to make it memorable and personal.

Humanist Celebrants and Ceremonies in the News

 in Ceremony / Humanist Celebrant / Officiant  tagged celebrant training / Humanist celebrants / wedding ceremonies by

Humanist Celebrants and ceremonies are in the news with this post at thehumanist.com

Wedding ceremony clients

I was recently invited to write about the fulfilling work I do as a Humanist Celebrant, with a focus on the training available to do the job well. I’m fortunate to have obtained training from both the Celebrant Foundation and Institute and the Humanist Center for Education as I started this work over eight years ago. The training focused on ideas that have become the cornerstone of my celebrant practice:
– working with clients who seek a meaningful but religion-free ceremony.
– collaborating with clients to provide the ceremony they want to mark their milestone in life.
– ensuring that clients have the opportunity to review, make changes to, and ultimately approve any ceremony I write for them.
– offering the ceremony in a professional manner; from my clothing to my physical demeanor, from my voice to my interactions with guests and other vendors.
– committing to running my practice in an ethical manner, complying with relevant state and federal laws, paying my taxes, and renewing my celebrant credential.

I love the work I do as a Humanist Celebrant, and feel honored each time a client chooses to work with me on their ceremony. Even after close to a decade of doing this work, I still encounter many people who don’t know about Humanism or about celebrants, so it’s great to see Humanist Celebrants and ceremonies in the news.

Are Wedding Readings Required?

 in Ceremony / Readings / Weddings  tagged personal ceremonies / wedding readings / weddings by

“Are wedding readings required?” is a question I often get when meeting with couples to plan their wedding ceremony. The simple answer is no. Readings from holy books are often required in religious ceremonies, but the secular ceremonies I create for couples are bound only by state marriage law, and that says nothing about readings. So as an engaged couple, you are able to decide if a reading (or two) is something you want to include in include in your ceremony… or not.

Many couples have a song that they associate with their relationship, but many fewer have a poem or piece of prose that they are emotionally connected to. If you have such a text, this is the perfect reading to include in your ceremony. Or maybe you’re a poetry or literature lover and know the selection you’ve dreamed of having as part of your wedding day. Perfect. Go for it. But honestly, it is the rare couple I encounter who fits this description. Many think they have to have a reading, but have no idea what it should be.

If you fall into this category, don’t worry, your celebrant can provide options and choices for wedding readings and you can look at option online, too. A good reading will connect to your story and the rest of the ceremony, becoming an integral part of the ceremony experience, not a random piece bolted on to fulfill a requirement. I’m writing for a couple right now who have endured many separations over the course of their relationship. They are considering a reading called “I Will Be There” by Stephen Curtis Chapman which repeats the line, “I will be there” throughout the reading. For them, it honors the way they have been there for each other in the past, while also being an integral part of the promise they are making to each other in marriage – to always be there for each other. The bonus is that they found and selected the reading on their own.

If you don’t find a reading that really “speaks” to you, it is perfectly acceptable to not have a reading in your ceremony. Another reason to leave a reading out is if you are trying to manage the length of your ceremony and the other parts – your story, vows, rings, unity ritual, etc – are more important to you. One of the great benefits of choosing a secular wedding ceremony is that there are very few requirements you must comply with. So now you know that wedding readings are not required, but, if well chosen, can highlight a characteristic of you as a couple, or share your view of love and marriage in a way that enhances your overall ceremony. The choice is yours.

Creative Use of Music

 in Ceremony / Music / Weddings  tagged ceremony music / creative / creative music / music by

Creative use of music can enhance your wedding ceremony experience. I recently read an article in Brides magazine that sparked a few thoughts for new ways to add meaning to your ceremony with music.

Look up the top wedding song for the years you and your fiance(e) were born in the article linked above. Maybe you want to include those songs in the prelude or postlude music lists (while your guests are being seated or as they are leaving the ceremony space). This is an interesting way to bridge the past and present in your ceremony.

If your parents are still married, a sweet tribute to them would be to have the top wedding song from the year they married played as they enter the ceremony space. This is easy to do for the groom’s parents as they usually enter the ceremony space together, but can be a little trickier for the bride’s parents. There is a graceful way to make this a special moment for your parents even if your dad will be walking you up the aisle. Your parents can enter together to the song from their wedding year, share a hug and kiss, have your mom sit down and your dad return to the back to prepare to escort you in.

An even more personal approach for the parents would be to have a conversation with them about their wedding ceremony. Ask what they remember about it – readings, music, anything special they included in their ceremony? If they remember a special song and it works with your ceremony plans, playing it in their honor as they enter could create a very special moment for all of you. At the very least, sharing the conversation and memories with your parents will be a bonding moment for everyone.

Creative use of music is one more way to make your wedding ceremony uniquely yours. Make sure to keep track of the music used in your wedding ceremony so you can share a similar discussion with your children years from now as they plan their weddings, too.