Monthly Archives: January 2018

Pros and Cons of an Unplugged Ceremony

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An unplugged ceremony is an option that many couples at least consider when planning their wedding. There are degrees of unplugged options ranging from a polite request to total confiscation of electronic devices. Only you know how important this is to you, and the personalities of your guests to guide you in deciding how far to go.

There are both benefits and drawbacks to opting for an unplugged ceremony including those listed below.

    Pros of an Unplugged Ceremony:

1. Your guests will be able to focus more on the actual ceremony if they are not worried about angles, lighting, and obstructions to the picture or video they are taking.

2. When you look out at your guests during your wedding ceremony, you’ll see their faces, not an array of devices, looking back.

3. Your photographer/videographer can get some shots of the guests that are free of devices. They won’t have to worry about a bunch of devices showing up in the background as they take images of you, and they won’t have to step around Aunt Millie who is standing in the middle of the aisle taking pictures as you walk up the aisle. I’ve seen photographers do this, and I’ve seen them unable to get the best images/angles because of clueless guests.

4. If your guests share the photos/video they take with you, you might get some great unscripted moments and different angles than those captured by your professional photographer.

5. Your guests can share their photos/video on social media before you receive the finished products from your photographer or videographer. (This can be a con, too. See below)

    Cons of an Unplugged Ceremony:

1. Your guests may post images to social media while your wedding celebration is still going on, which can be awkward if you had to limit your guest list, or if you’re concerned about party crashers. Worst story on this front was a groom who saw pictures posted of his bride even before he had seen her in person.

2. Your guests may resent being asked to turn off their devices for the ceremony. They may be truly upset if being asked to surrender their devices for the entire event. This can actually be hazardous if you have on call medical or emergency services people in attendance (in these cases, a simple request to silence devices and keep them in pockets may be most appropriate).

3. You may miss some of the most entertaining or romantic candid moments caught by a friend or relative.

It really is unfortunate to see a sea of screens/devices pointed at you throughout the wedding ceremony, so requesting an unplugged ceremony with a request from the officiant before the processional may be the right middle of the road option. Then your guests can go crazy during the reception and capture some great moments and memories to share with you.

Winter Weddings: An Emerging Trend

 in Trends / Weddings  tagged winter weddings by

Winter weddings are an emerging trend in Minnesota and elsewhere. With picture of pristine winter wonderland weddings gracing magazines and websites, it’s not hard to imagine embracing the idea. I’ve received more requests for winter weddings than in previous years, and with our weather, they require additional thought and planning.

First, it’s important to consider how winter weddings impact you as a couple, and your wedding party. Make sure your expectations are reasonable, and that you have contingency plans. For example, while you may be envisioning lovely pictures in the snow with evergreens as your backdrop, realize that there may not be any snow and you’ll be standing on brown, dead grass. Or you may have so much snow that tromping up to the tree line may not be possible. Even if the weather cooperates, you’ll want to have boots for everyone, and some kind of warm wrap or jacket for the women in your wedding party. You will also want to consider the style of your dress – sleeves perhaps, instead of a strapless gown to provide a little more coverage and warmth in the weather, or one of the new gowns with a matching full length coat.

Unless your wedding is limited to you two, your witnesses and a very few, hardy guests, I suggest you plan an indoor ceremony for your winter wedding. Set near a striking fireplace, or against windows with the winter wonderland view beyond can be lovely, but freezing and slipping on snow is not going to be welcomed by most of your guests. And speaking of guests – you will need to be prepared for last minute cancellations if a significant storm chooses your wedding weekend to visit the area. This can impact your costs significantly as final numbers will likely need to be in to your caterer before guests know they can’t make it.

You may also want to consider a single venue wedding – perhaps at a hotel or resort where the ceremony, reception and even guest accommodations are all in the same place. So if your guests can safely make it to the venue they can relax and enjoy the day, knowing that they don’t have to travel further. If that’s not possible, consider providing shuttle services for your guests and wedding party.

If you can live with the uncertainty that winter weather brings to your wedding plans, holding your wedding from November through March will likely increase the choices of venues, musicians, photographers, officiants and all your other vendors. Guests are also less likely to have social conflicts during the slower, winter months, and you might be able to take advantage of family and friends who have traveled for the Thanksgiving or December holiday seasons, too.

If you love the winter season, are timing your wedding with a significant event in your relationship, or if it simply works best with your schedule, embrace the idea, plan accordingly, and have a wonderful, memorable winter wedding.

Extending Your Wedding Ceremony Experience

 in Celebration / Ceremony / Rituals / Weddings  tagged wedding ceremony / wedding guests by

Extending your wedding ceremony experience can make your ceremony fresh and memorable for you and your guests, and get your celebration off to a great start. Extending your wedding ceremony doesn’t mean making the ceremony itself longer, but rather offers ways to surround your ceremony with things for your guests to see and do.

Some couples are opting to offer a social hour – or half hour – before the ceremony begins. They invite guests, for example, to arrive at 4:00pm for a brief social time before a 4:30pm start time. While this is a nice idea, it can be tricky to get people to stop socializing and shift to a ceremony mindset. Know your guests here, and decide if this is a good idea for your group.

Extending your wedding ceremony experience can also be accomplished by showing a video of you as a couple before the ceremony begins. Some couples show this kind of video during their reception, but pictures showing the growth and path of your relationship can be a great introduction to your ceremony. You probably don’t want to include the “cute kids” pictures, but rather focus on the two of you together, the experiences you’ve shared, and your life together. Backed with some of your favorite music, this can be an entertaining interlude for your guests as they wait for the ceremony to begin. A caveat with this suggestion – if your ceremony is taking place outdoors, make sure the video can be seen in the sunlight.

Guests show support for marriage by adding thumbprints

And a final way to extend your ceremony experience is to introduce the thumbprints poster you want your guests to contribute to in place of a guestbook. These have become popular, but can be more meaningful if introduced during the ceremony as a community ritual demonstrating your guests’ support for your marriage. You and your wedding party can place your thumbprints on the poster during the ceremony, and guests can be invited by your officiant to add their thumbprints on the way into the social hour/reception space. You’ll get much better participation with this positioning and invitation from the officiant, and will have a more complete poster to hang in your home as a remembrance of the special people who shared in your special day.

As these three examples show, with a little “out of the box” thinking extending your wedding ceremony experience in ways that make it more enjoyable, more personal and more meaningful for your guests is fairly easily accomplished. Happy ceremony planning!

Meaningful Unity Rituals

 in Ceremony / Rituals / Weddings  tagged unity ritual / wedding ceremony by

Meaningful unity rituals can add a memorable touch to your wedding ceremony. Along with your exchange of vows and rings, the unity ritual serves as a highlight of the ceremony when it is done well. So how do you ensure that your unity ritual is meaningful and significant?

Meaningful unity rituals serve a purpose. The purpose is to visually illustrate the vows you’ve just exchanged – blending your lives, joining your lives, becoming one, bringing your individuality to your marriage, and respecting each others goals and preferences can each be demonstrated with unity rituals. The more personal the ritual, the more meaningful it can be.

There are a few well known unity rituals – the unity candle lit from tapers representing your single lives now joining together, and the sand ceremony blending different colored sand showing the blending of your lives into one. They are fine, and if you like them, you should have them in your ceremony. There is another set of unity rituals gaining popularity including handfasting, love letters and tree plantings. They, too, should be part of your ceremony if you like the symbolism involved in them.

Love Letters Unity Ritual

If you select one of the newer unity rituals, and especially if you have a unity ritual created just for you, it is essential that the symbolism and meaning be explained to your guests while you perform the ritual.

A story was shared with me regarding a recent wedding. There was a unity ritual, because the couple moved to a table and did something with dirt from two containers, but no one explained what exactly they were doing or what it was supposed to signify. That unity ritual was a failure from the perspective of the guests. Hopefully it had meaning for the couple, but because it wasn’t explained the guests felt left out and not respected. Maybe the soil came from their childhood homes and would be used to plant a tree outside their own home, thus connecting their histories and families. Or maybe they had gathered the soil on vacations they’ve shared and it represented their love of travel. Or maybe the soil represented the basis for their marriage – as the soil supports and nourishes a tree it surrounds, so will they work to support and nourish their marriage going forward. If the symbolism this ritual held for the couple had been explained, the guests would have understood it, would have learned about the priorities and focus of the couple, and the ritual would have become a significant part of the ceremony.

If you don’t like any of the “standard” unity rituals, or any of the “newer” unity rituals, and don’t want to explore the possibility of a personal unity ritual, that’s OK, too. Unity rituals are a totally optional part of the ceremony. I like them because they involve movement and action for the couple which is visually interesting, and if well explained, can add meaning to the ceremony. But they aren’t for everyone. You can choose to move from your exchange of vows and rings to the closing elements of the ceremony. Simple ceremonies can be lovely and can keep the focus on your promises/vows which can be very touching, too. Just remember to ensure meaningful unity rituals for yourselves and your guests if you choose to include them in your wedding ceremony.

Happy New Year

 in Weddings  tagged wedding professionals by

Happy New Year, and welcome to 2018. If you are recently engaged, welcome to the wonderful world of wedding planning. You will discover that it is more complex than you may have expected, but remember that there are many wedding professionals ready to help make your wedding vision a reality for you. Selecting your date and venue are probably the first steps for you, followed quickly by booking the wedding professionals you feel most comfortable with.

Some of you have been planning for your wedding day for a number of months now, and 2018, the year of the wedding, has finally arrived. If you’ve taken a pause in your wedding planning over the holidays, now is a good time to check your to do list and ensure that everything is still on schedule. The next few months are sure to zoom by and you can keep your stress level down by keeping on track with remaining tasks.

The beginning of the new year may also be the opportunity some of you take to reflect on your relationship and decide that it’s time to move toward marriage. You have time to get a ring for a romantic Valentine’s Day proposal, and don’t forget the romantic possibilities a warm fireplace, or a simple walk on a crisp winter day can offer.

Whatever the milestones you will mark in this new year; proposal and engagement, setting the date or experiencing your dreamed of wedding day, may 2018 be a year of love and wonder for you on your wonderful journey together. Wishing you all a happy new year and a loving one, too.