Yearly Archives: 2017

If you have a dog you love and view as part of your family you might be thinking about including him or her in your wedding ceremony. Having worked with a number of couples in this situation, I’d like to offer four suggestions to help ensure that your dog is a good addition to your ceremony.

1) Have someone who knows your dog be in charge of him or her. Ask them to bring the dog to the ceremony site about 15 minutes before the ceremony, well fed, watered and walked. Have the dog leashed.

2) If you are having the dog bring the rings in, have the “minder” hold the rings until just before the big entrance, and have a secure way for them to be attached to the dog.

3) Rather than including the dog in the processional, early in the ceremony, or just before the ring exchange, have the celebrant talk about the importance of the dog in your lives, and invite the dog to bring the rings forward (or alternately, just to be a part of your ceremony by coming forward to “share some love with you”).

4) After their big moment, have the minder remove the dog from the ceremony space. If they stay near, they are likely to want to be with you. They will be a distraction to nearby guests who are trying to pay attention to the ceremony.

You can always include your beloved pet in your wedding pictures, regardless of whether they participate in the ceremony. This can be a good option of your ceremony site doesn’t allow pets, or if you wish to reduce your stress by taking the pet variable out of your ceremony experience.

And one final thought… your pet will be happy to see you, and doesn’t understand about fragile fabrics, perfectly pressed tuxes, professional makeup applications, or carefully coiffed hair. You’ll have to decide how to balance your desire to include your pet in your special day, and the potential risks and stresses of doing so.

A frequent source of confusion for couples planning their secular wedding ceremonies is choosing whether or not to include a reading. Since traditional wedding ceremonies rely on various holy books for readings, some couples think they need to forgo a reading to keep their ceremony free of religious content. But that’s not the case at all.

There have been beautiful reflections on love and marriage written across cultures and over time. Since we’re not limited by religious requirements, all those passages are potential readings for your ceremony. Here are excerpts from a number of readings to demonstrate the breadth of possibilities available to you.

From Renee Duvall:
“All I want is to love you for the rest of my life.
To wake up every morning with you by my side,
knowing that no matter what happens,
I’ll be able to come home to your loving arms.”

From Carl Sandburg:
“I love you for what you are, but I love you yet more for what you are going to be. I love you not so much for your realities as for your ideals.”

From “Everything I Learned About Love I Learned From My Dog”, author unknown:
“Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory. Take naps together and stretch before rising. Run, romp and play daily. Be loyal.”

From Linda Lee Elrod:
“When I met you, I had no idea
how much my life
was about to be changed…
but then, how could I have known?

A love like ours happens
once in a lifetime.
You were a miracle to me,
the one who was everything
I had ever dreamed of,
the one I thought existed
only in my imagination.”

From James Dillet Freeman:
“May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.
May you always need one another – not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness.”

As you can see from these snippets, there is a range of sentiment available in readings from serious to lighthearted, from romantic to practical. Selecting a reading that articulates your feelings on love or marriage is a great way to add some variety to your ceremony while keeping the focus on you as a couple. Readings, then, are one more way to personalize your ceremony, so explore the possibilities before deciding if a reading has a place in your wedding ceremony.