A surprise wedding can be great fun, but you’ll want to be aware of possible pitfalls as well. While it might seem at first glance that a surprise wedding would require less planning, in fact, it can take quite a bit more planning than a traditional wedding day, and you’ll have less help if none of your besties even know it’s going to happen.
Here are a few things that will be different if you opt for a surprise wedding celebration:
– You won’t have wedding showers, bachelor and bachelorette parties in the weeks before the wedding. But, there’s no reason these can’t follow the wedding if you like.
– You won’t have a wedding party (bridesmaids and groomsmen) in color coordinated clothing. You can, of course, ask a few of your guests to stand with you for the ceremony, and can even have arranged for bouquets and boutonnieres for them if you wish.
– The day will likely be more casual than traditional weddings, unless you can devise a story to gather all your family and friends for a dressy gathering without giving away the real reason.
– Your guests won’t be prepared with gifts on your wedding day… since they didn’t know it was your wedding day. Some may gift you in the following weeks or months, or maybe part of your intent is to make this less of a gift giving event.
If you want some of the standard elements of a wedding: a dress/suit or tuxedo, bouquets and boutonnieres, music (for the ceremony and party) and food, you’ll need to make all of those arrangements yourselves, and will have to try to keep everything hidden from your guests until the big reveal moment.
A surprise wedding may be a perfect fit for you if you’re looking to avoid some of the drama wedding planning can bring, if you want a generally lower key experience, or if you want your guests to focus on just having a good time. Some couples have used family reunions, holiday parties, or other social events as a “cover” for their surprise weddings, and this can work very well. Once all your guests have gathered, you take the floor, welcome them to your surprise wedding, and let the festivities begin.
One final word about surprise weddings – it’s best not to surprise the bride or groom with the wedding. This is actually pretty hard to do in Minnesota, since you need to apply together, in person, for your wedding license from the county government center. But even if you manage to find a way around that obstacle, marriage is a big, big commitment, that no one should be pressured into by finding themselves ambushed by a surprise wedding. Save the surprise for your guests, and it can be a fun filled, happy way to launch your new life together.