Monthly Archives: July 2017


When is One Hundred Not One Hundred?

One hundred is not one hundred when you’ve invited one hundred guests to your wedding ceremony, but the last ten arrive to find no chair available for them to sit in. But why, you ask, would this happen? Because there are going to be empty chairs in a number of places, leaving your final guests standing awkwardly at the back of the ceremony space. Here are a couple of scenarios I’ve seen at recent weddings:

Scenario 1: One couple did not spend time deciding exactly which family members they wanted seated in reserved seating at the front of the ceremony space. They casually said, “Just leave the first two rows on each side of the aisle for family”. Each row had 10 chairs on each side of the aisle. The result – the last four to six seats in each of the first two rows were empty as the last guests arrived. All other seats were taken, and guests were standing around looking lost, having been told the first two rows were reserved for family. The venue had set out exactly the number of chairs asked for by the couple, which was exactly the number of guests they were expecting. Solution: Either ensure that the family will fully utilize the chairs in the reserved rows, or have extra chairs set up so non-family guests have a place to sit.

Ceremony space at Mayowood Stone Barn

Scenario 2: Many couples are opting for a more relaxed approach to seating their guests. Rather than having ushers formally escort guests to their seats, the guests are handed a program (if one exists), and invited to seat themselves wherever they wish, leaving the first x rows for immediate family. With these instructions, guests often leave an empty seat between groups, resulting in a scattering of empty single seats throughout the ceremony space. The last 10 to 20 guests are greeted with inside seats that are difficult to gracefully reach and without the ability to sit together. So they stand in the back. Solution: Have your ushers ask people to not leave empty seats between themselves, and have some extra chairs set up, knowing that some people will still leave empty seats. Another way to address this situation is to ask that the chairs not be placed right next to each other. Leaving just a couple of inches of space between the chairs provides an extra bit of shoulder and elbow room for your guests, and can usually be easily accommodated in outdoor ceremony venues where you’re not constrained by walls.

In each scenario, setting a few extra chairs removes some stress for your guests, makes everyone feel that they are expected and welcome, and allows your guests to take their seats quickly and without fuss. That allows you to start your ceremony on time and begin your wedding celebration on a happy note… all with the simple addition of a few extra chairs.


10 Things Your Wedding Guests Don’t Care About

Here’s a link to a recent article titled “10 Things Your Wedding Guests Don’t Care About“. While you may not agree with each of the 10 items listed, I think the underlying message is a good one. There are literally scores of things to consider and make decisions about when planning your wedding. It can become totally overwhelming if you spend a lot of time on each item. You can make your life even more difficult if you get caught up with Pinterest and try to recreate the many cute, but often unnecessary items found there.

So what do you focus on? I’ve written before suggesting that you identify the five or six things that you really value and focus on those. The article above looks at this idea from another angle, suggesting things that your guests might not notice or appreciate, and that you, therefore, don’t need to spend much time (or money) on. At the bottom of the article are also the five things the author claims the guests WILL care about. Hopefully, those will line up fairly closely with the things you care about, too.

Even if you disagree with the author on the items in either list, it’s worth considering this approach. If you’re spending lots of time (or money) on things that you believe your guests won’t notice or value, those might be great candidates to either forgo altogether, delegate to a parent or close friend to handle for you, or make a quick decision on and move forward. This approach will leave you more resources (both time and money) to handle those things that are important to you (and likely also to your guests).

Every couple has a vision for what their wedding day will be, and you want to bring that vision to life as much as possible. By letting go of some of the less important aspects of your day you can ensure that your focus stays on the heart of the day, which is after all, all about the love in your heart.


Can You Hear Me Now?

The old TV ad, “Can You Hear Me, Now?”, was cute, but you want to ensure that the important family members and friends who have come to share in your wedding ceremony can hear what’s being said. While indoor ceremony spaces can prove a challenge if there are more than 30 guests, outside ceremony spaces have built in obstacles.

There are a number of noise issues, both natural and man made, that need to be considered. Stand in your ceremony space at about the time of your wedding. Listen carefully. Even if the space is secluded you might have issues with road noise from unseen but nearby roadways. Even the sound of wind in large trees can be a problem. And the sound of water from fountains or rivers can provide great white noise… that totally drowns out the sound of voices. And don’t forget the birds. They can be quite noisy, especially at certain times of the day. The trickiest one to plan for, though, is the wind. If it is strong, and blowing toward your officiant, their voice will be whisked totally away from the guests. And there is no way to plan for or avoid it if it happens.

The solution for all these situations is to make sure that the officiant and any readers, along with the two of you (especially if you’ve written your own vows for the ceremony) all have access to microphones. I have a number of audio systems available for the ceremonies I perform; one that can be plugged into electricity and two of different sizes that run on batteries. I also have a microphone headset that I prefer to wear, along with a hand held wireless microphone for readers and the couple.

Not all officiants have their own equipment, so make sure you ask when interviewing them. Other possible sources for audio equipment are your DJ, if he/she is providing ceremony music, and the venue itself. Audio equipment can also be rented from local rental stores, but if you go that route, make sure there is someone at the wedding who knows how to set-up and run the equipment.

Your wedding ceremony is special. It is the time when you cross the threshold into marriage. It is often something you’ve worked hard on, to ensure that it represents you as a couple. It is the beginning of the celebration on your wedding day. For all these reasons, you want to ensure that you and your guests can all hear the words that voice your commitment to each other and mark the beginning of your marriage journey. Happy listening.


Happy 4th of July

Today is the 4th of July, a day filled with sparklers, fireworks, grilled food, sunshine (hopefully) and parades, and family and friends. Independence Day gatherings are one more opportunity to share celebrations as we mark the birthday of our country. Like personal milestones in our lives, community milestones like the 4th of July are a reason to celebrate.

The guests may be more informally dressed and the rituals less symbolic and more recurring traditions, but gathering to celebrate shared values and time with the special people in your life is always time well spent. A 4th of July picnic might not rival a wedding, a baby welcoming or a memorial for a loved one in terms of being memorable in the long term. But the annual celebration can create memories of its own, and just a good time each year.

So celebrate any way you like, but pause for a moment to recognize and appreciate the country we share, the loved ones gathered around you, and the memories being made. Happy 4th!