Historically, most wedding ceremonies took place in churches or other houses of worship, and have been defined in large part by religious rules and traditions. But times have changed, and many weddings now take place in parks, museums, golf clubs, historic mansions or specialized wedding venues. If you move your ceremony out of religious buildings and select an officiant who is not bound by religious rules, the possibilities for your wedding ceremony really open up.
When you select a secular ceremony, you have no restrictions on the kinds of music you choose, the readings you want offered, or the unity ritual you find meaningful. You are welcome to write your own vows, you can add in other rituals or include other people in your ceremony if you wish.
Your secular ceremony can have a very traditional look and feel if that’s the experience you want. Classical music selections, well known readings from Shakespeare or Elizabeth Barrett Browning can be used. Repeat after me vows using familiar language may be the perfect choice for you. Unity candles or sand blending ceremonies can be offered. And traditional language can make the ceremony very similar to other weddings you’ve attended.
But if you wish to extensively personalize your secular ceremony, that’s possible, too. The theme from “Princess Bride” for the bride’s entrance, is not traditional, but may be the perfect fit for you. Writing your own vows and choosing to include some humor in them may perfectly reflect your personal dynamic as a couple. Using an offering from children’s literature or contemporary poetry as a reading may express your views on love or marriage. And a tree planting or handfasting may be the ideal ritual to follow your exchange of vows and rings.
All those less traditional choices can still be wound into a wedding ceremony that feels like a wedding ceremony. The familiar elements – processional, reading, vows, unity ritual – are all still there, but have been selected to keep the focus on you as a couple and better reflect your personalities and style. You will have a meaningful experience marking your commitment to each other in marriage, and your guests will feel they’ve had a recognizable “ceremony experience”, too. But you’ll be comfortable with the language used, and the content will celebrate you as a couple as the cross the threshold into marriage.